Friday 29 December 2023

Uke-Song: Al Jolson sings "POLYVINYL for MILLENIA"


ORIGINAL SONG: "Carolina in the Morning" written 1922, best-known version is performed by Al Jolson.

PARODY COMPOSED:  Giorgio Coniglio, January 2014. To return to "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" and to see more photos on this topic, click HERE. (While there, you can also view the lyrics without the chord indications, should you desire.)


(to the tune of "Carolina in the Morning")

Performing Notes

GM7 = 0222; G6 = 0202; G#dim7; E5+7 = 1203; Am7 = 0000; Am6 = 2423; C#dim7 = 0101/3434; D7+5 = 3223; Dm7 = 2213.


[G] What could be more [GM7] drastic than our [G6] seas awash in [G#dim7] plastic for mill[Am7]eni[D7]a;
[Am] Particles ac[E7+5]cumulate, then [Am7] hydrocarbons [Am6] degradate in [C#dim7] fau[G]na.

[C] Population's [G] highest, pol[C]luting near the [G] shore. [E7]
[A7] Altering  consti[D]tution [B7] of the [Em] worldwide [Am7] ocean [D7] floor. [D7+5]

[G] Jellyfish get [GM7] jealous of those [G6] gels the plankton [G#dim7] relish for their [Am7]vi[D7]nyl,
[Am] Seasoning our [E7+5] seafood and in[Am7]citing crude re[Am6] actions that are [C#dim7]fi[G]nal.

[G] If we had Aladdin's lamp and [Dm7] only one [G7] wish, 
We'd [C] ask, not me, but [A7] seals, whales and [D7] fish,                       
[G] Every Jane and [Em] Michael, it's not [G] hard, so please re[Em]cycle all your [A7]pla-[D7]a-a[G]stic. 

Tuesday 19 December 2023

A Late-Days-of-Christmas Song: "AVITAMINOSES"


ORIGINAL SONG"The Twelve Days of Christmas", traditional carol, of English or possibly French origin, published in its current known form by Frederic Austin 1909.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January, 2016. 
To see Giorgio's parody-lyrics displayed more concisely without the chord-indications (and to return to "Daily Illustrated Nonsense"), click HERE.

This parody-song is just in time for Christmas-tide (the Twelvetide).  

Recently there has been some emphasis on the excessive use of multi-vitamin supplementation pills in the general population. But, many of our processed foods are already enriched with these essential chemical nutrients, and freedom from vitamin-deficiency diseases (avitaminoses), such as rickets, beriberi and pellagra is a gift for all mankind.

The pronunciation of the chemical names is a bit difficult, and for some of them, alteration from the usual format was necessary to fit the meter of the original song; these instances have been flagged by capital letters indicating the vowels which require unusual emphasis; e.g. ribOflavin, pEllagra. 
The bracketed material is included for edification and for comparison with the original lyrics, and is not meant to be sung. In the second verse, (?)indicates cases in which a clinical deficiency state is not certain.  


(to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"- final verse)

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Avitaminoses (see below)
Singable Limerick-Medley #17: Nuclear Cardiology
Singable Limerick-Medley #20: Medical Imaging

Saturday 9 December 2023

Dante's Inferno, sidebar: Rick Steves sends a "POSTCARD TO CHUBBY CHECKER" (Stuck in Limbo)


, as recorded 1962 by Chubby Checker.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, May, 2015.  To return to the corresponding post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE

The name "Limbo" conjures up an intriguing mixture of Caribbean dancing and Dante's Inferno. In another posting here, part of the Inferno sequence, Dante provides us with on-site reporting which seems to eliminate it from serious consideration as a longterm retirement home. Perhaps it is more realistic to consider it an untapped tourist destination.  

(to the tune of "Limbo Rock")

Performing Notes: 

The chord pattern is the same for all verses, and is quite easy. The trick is to clinch the Caribbean rhythm with heavy beats on 2 and 4. and the English lyrics ending just before the 4th downbeat for every line. Another nice trick is to to employ the 5,4,3,3, position for the C chord, and then use downward NewYork strum for the 4 and 4.5 counts in most lines (the F9 and G7 chords can also be adapted to do this for the last few line of each verse).
Fadd9 = 0,0,1,0 (for NY strumming try 2,0,1,3).

INTRO: = chords for first 4 lines

[C]Want to visit Limbo-land?
Rick Steves [G7]help vacation-plan[C]
Limbo-folks are tourist-shy
Compli[G7]cated reasons why.[C] 
Limbo-[F9]visa hard to get - 
Seems that [C]none been printed yet.[G7]
I.T. system's way behind,
Limbo-[F9]stuck in Dante's [C]time. 

[C]What to pack for Limbo-trip?
Don't need [G7]sunscreen - get a grip![C]
Limbo-weather always same
Sticky [G7]days, we're not to blame.[C].
Limbo-[F9]neighbors turn up steam
Get so [C]burned they moan and scream.[G7]
Don't advise excursion there
If no [F9]Hazmat suit to [C]wear. 

[C]Limbo-talk in Limbo-land
Locals [G7]hard to understand[C]
Few speak Eng., they all speak It.,
Antique [G7]Limbo-dialect.[C]
Limbo-[F9]customs might appeal - 
Walk feet [C]flat with weight on heels. [G7]
Limbo-nights - no moon or stars
Lean back [F9]in (or under) [C]bars.

[C]Got good staff at Limbo-Inns
They com[G7]mit no Limbo-sins;[C]
New construction in bare feet
Projects [G7]never get complete.[C]
Might not [F9]find a hotel room
Now or [C]when you're in your tomb.[G7]
Limbo-book with kids and wife
For the [F9]Limbo-after[C]life.

Rates discounted now.
Rates discounted now.
How low can they go?

Compare this with Ch.Ch.'s original:

[C]Every limbo boy and girl
All a[G7]round the limbo world,[C]
Gonna do the limbo rock
All a[G7]round the limbo clock.[C]
Jack be [F9]nimble, Jack be quick
Jack go [C]under limbo stick![G7]
All around the limbo clock
Hey, let's [F9] do the limbo [C]rock. 

Wednesday 29 November 2023

Dante's Inferno, Canto#6: "DANTE, GO and SEE" (Crayfish Étouffée)

"The Circle of the Gluttons"
W. Blake


ORIGINAL POEM:  Canto#6 of "Inferno" by Dante Alighieri, the first book in the triad, "The Divine Comedy", written in the early 14th century.
ORIGINAL SONG: "Baby, Please Don't Go", Big Joe Williams 1935, popularized by Muddy Waters, used here primarily for music and meter.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015. To return to the corresponding post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE

In the Third Circle, Dante sees the fate of gluttons like his friend from Florence named ‘Ciacco’ (the equivalent of ‘Piggy’). No fire used for torture here; the climate sounds like Toronto in March. The poor souls confined here in the freezing mud are tormented by a demonic three-headed dog, Cerberus. I took some liberties with Ciacco’s tale; in the original, he discusses the complex politics of 14th century Florence. The details I provided re Ciacco's gluttonous exploits are imagined. Eschatology is the part of theology concerned with final judgment and the destiny of the soul.  Étouffée is a delicious Louisiana dish of seafood, usually crayfish, in a Cajun roux sauce.

"Cerberus", W. Blake
New Orleans style crayfish etouffée


(to the tune of "Baby Please Don't Go")sh Étouffée)  - see below.

(Click on any chord-chart slide to advance to 'presentation/singalong' mode.)

Sunday 19 November 2023

Uke-Song for Thanksgiving: "TURKEY LEFTOVERS" -- a pair-ody sung by Nat King Cole and Tradition Al


ORIGINAL SONG#1: "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts...), written by Wells and Tormé  in 1944, and recorded by the Nat King Cole Trio 1946.
ORIGINAL SONG#2: "Good King Wenceslas", John Mason Neale 1853, but often now mistakenly referred to as 'traditional'. Neale's piece, (based on accounts of the Bohemian Wenceslas legend, and a 13th century 'spring- carol tune) was highly criticized in the 1920s as "ponderous moral doggerel"; see the interesting description in the Wikipedia essay on this topic.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January, 2015, currently updated with new illustrations, and improved fonts. To return to the current post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE


(to the tune of The Christmas Song - "Chestnuts Roasting")


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT (and guitar, too!)

There are some difficult jazz chords here, but they sound beautiful, and are worth the effort!

Specifics for ukulele (C-tuning):
Bm7 = 2222;  C#m7 = 4444;  E7 = 1202;  Em7 = 0202;  C#7+5 =2112; F#m = 2120;  Dm6 = 2212;  D#m7 = 3324;  C#M7 = 1113;  CM7 = 0002;
A9= 0102;  DM7 = 2224;  D6 = 2222;  Dm7 = 2213;  C6 = 0000;  Fdim7 = 1212; G#7 = 1323;  Cdim7 = 2323;  AM7 = 1100;  F#7(terminal harmonic) = 6677.

ORIGINAL SONG-LYRICS (double-click to enlarge any slide,
then follow the thumbnails at bottom of the field)

and to see more, proceed to the blog-post for the related parody "The Cynic's Song" (Global Warming Can Be Set Aside)

and to see more, proceed to the post for the related parody "Kooky Presidential Views".