Sunday 29 May 2016

Hedging Your Bets: Yew-Phoric

Post #125
ORIGINAL SONG: "Hot Blooded" 1978, Foreigner.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, May 2016.

KEYWORDS: wordplay, retirement, goldenoldy


(to the tune of "Hot Blooded")

Wishful thinking -
magnificent specimens of  'Japanese yew'
for sale at a Brazilian nursery: web-image

Well, I'm euphoric, planned a new hedge
Down my property at its western edge.
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff.
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.  

I won't have to see the junk, ev'ry day you bring in your trunk.
Discount plants that you buy
Spread out on your drive, some dead some half-alive .
I won't care where you pot them after they die.

I'll restrict your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins. 
While I've been away, I know you use my walk on garbage day.

It's called Podocarpus, or Japanese yew
Grows quite tightly, blocks objectable view 
Walkway from author's main door
(side of patio-home) runs to street,
now bounded by 33 yew plants
 on the right hand side of property.
Screen this neighbor, who spreads out all her junk
I'm YEW-phoric, YEW-phoric.

My first scheme denied - planting zone can't be on your side.
Shall we break off the talks?
But I needed space next to line; more space at property line, 
Near killed me, used hot crow-bar, smashed half-foot off my brick walk. 

Do you love to hoard? And pile your yard up with old bricks and boards?
Buy old junk on binge? Old bent Santa-sign with rusty fringe?

Now I'm euphoric - more privacy
Bought their stock out, planted all thirty-three
Screened out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Electric guitar or ukulele solo)

I'll track down your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins 
If I find snipped yews, I'll assume a crime by you-know-who.

Yeah, I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Blocks invading weeds like knotweed and sedge
Screened out neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

Eureka! Hedge that's so neat
A year of growth - should get to five feet
YEW-phoric; it reduces my stress
YEW-phoric; screens out all her mess  
YEW-phoric; it grows pretty dense
YEW-phoric; hides her lawn ornaments  
YEW-phoric; it's making me dance
YEW-phoric; these are dense fence-plants .......

Friday 13 May 2016

Palindromic Traditional Song: SIN and REDEMPTION

Post #124
ORIGINAL SONG: "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands" traditional spiritual, first published in 1927
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, May 2016.

WORDPLAY LINK: See table below for topic-based palindrome collections on our sister blog Edifying Nonsense


(to the tune of "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands")

The Palindromes taught us, "Dennis sinned"
Taught all the sisters "Dennis, Madam, sinned"
Taught us "Dennis lived as a devil sinned"
We're taught to know that "Dennis sinned". 

You've got to know that "Dennis and Edna sinned"
Yes, "Dennis, Nell, Edna and Ellen sinned"
"Dennis, Nell, Edna, Hannah and Ellen sinned"
You know that "Dennis and Edna sinned".

We're taught that "Dennis, Nora, Al, Aaron sinned"
"Dennis, Nell, Edna, Gert, Reg and Ellen sinned"
At "Dennis's Inn: Edna and Ennis sinned"
"Dennis' tennis sin-net sinned".

"Dennis, Nat's DNA and Stan? Sin, Ned"
"Dennis's sensuousness? Sin, Ned"
"Bed Noel, Otto, Leon, Deb"
 lived at a devil's inn, Ed".

Dennis "Evil did deliver, reviled did live"
But if everybody here would just forgive,
It could be "drawn onward" on the wind - 
"Dennis never even sinned".

Performing Notes

F9add 0010; C7 = 0001; C7* = 3433

The Palindromic Nature of Sin

0. Dennis never even sinned. 

1. Dennis sinned.

2. Dennis and Edna sinned.

3. Dennis, Enid and Nadine sinned.  

4. Dennis, Enid, Andy D., Nadine sinned.

5. Dennis, Nell, Edna, Otto and Ellen sinned. 

6. Dennis, Nell, Edna, Eva, Dave and Ellen sinned. 

7. Dennis, Nell, Edna, Noel, Hannah, Leon and Ellen sinned. 

8. Dennis, Nell, Edna, Noel, Nat, Stan, Leon and Ellen sinned.

9. Dennis, Nell, Edna, Noel, Nat, Sis, Stan, Leon and Ellen sinned.