Thursday, 30 January 2014

Snowbirds' Lament: Carolina Winter Morning

POST #20
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Carolina in the Morning" written 1922, best-known version is by Al Jolson
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January 2014

You can view these lyrics and commentary (without images or chords)  displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post "Carolina Winter Morning"


Southern subdivision


Ravenel Bridge, SC,
from Mt Pleasant to Charleston
closed due to ice

















Near Charleston harbor, Jan 2014

























CAROLINA WINTER MORNING


(to the tune of "Carolina in the Morning")

Yankees call us whiners -  snow in coastal Carolina! ice-storm warning
Heat pumps, 'lectric stripping, so the breakers flip, they're tripping in the morning.
Where is global warming when we need it most? 
Weathering this month's storming, our palmetto trees are toast.

Bridges closed confine ya', snow in coastal Carolina; cancel meetings. 
Sleet looks so much neata' when you're cozied near the heata', if you've heating.
Towns don't have no snow ploughs, so just stay home, folks;
View through frosty windows icy Spanish-mossy oaks.

Blame the Great Designer, don't malign the coal strip-miners - no El Niño.
Random variation, polar air mass brings us Fahrenheit nineteen - oh!
If I had some winter treads and I wouldn't skid,
I'd skulk off further south, then boast what I did;
Something could refine the clime of coastal Carolina winter mo-o-orn-ings! 


Related Palindromes:

Stir grits.

Sniff'um muffins.
Splat! I hit Alps! 

Performing Notes

GM7 = 0222; G6 = 0202; G#dim7; E5+7 = 1203; Am7 = 0000; Am6 = 2423;
C#dim7 = 0101/3434; D7+5 = 3223; Dm7 = 2213 

[G] Yankees call us [GM7] whiners - snow in  [G6] coastal Caro[G#dim7]lina; ice-storm [Am7] war[D7]ning;
[Am] Heat pumps, 'lectric [E7+5] stripping, so the [Am7] breakers flip [Am6] they're tripping in the [C#dim7] mor[G]ning.
[C] Where is global [G] warming, [C] when we  need it [G] most?  [E7]
[A7] Weathering this month's [D] storming [B7] our pal[Em]metto [Am7] trees are [D7] toast. [D7+5]

[G] Bridges closed [GM7] confine ya' - snow in [G6] coastal Caro[G#dim7]lina; cancel [Am7] mee[D7]tings;
[Am] Sleet looks so much [E7+5] neata' when you're [Am7] cozied near the [Am6] heata', if you've [C#dim7] hea[G]ting.
[C] Towns don't have no [G] snowploughs, [C] so just stay home, [G] folks  [E7]
[A7] View through [D] frosty [B7] windows [Em] icy [Am7] Spanish-mossy [D7] oaks. [D7+5]

[G] Blame the Great De[GM7]signer, don't ma[G6]lign the coal strip[G#dim7]miners -no El [Am7] Ni[D7]ño ,
[Am] Random vari[E7+5]ation, polar[Am7] air mass brings us [Am6] Fahrenheit nine-[C#dim7]-teen, [G] oh!.
[G] If I had some winter treads and [Dm7] I wouldn't [G7] skid, 
I'd [C] skulk  off further south then [A7] boast what I [D7] did                    
[G] Something could re[Em]fine the clime of [G] coastal Caro[Em]lina winter [A7] mo[D7]-o-or[G]nings.




The polar vortex- satellite photo

E7!   A6.



























Here is the original song,  lyrics and chords, with the help of Dr Uke and Jim Beloff. You could use my version, transposed to the key of A, to play along with the YouTube video of Al Jolson (capo to Bb). 



The Original: Carolina in the Morning



A                             AM7                A6              A#dim         Bm7   E7
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morn-ing,
Bm                         F+                            Bm7                     Bm6                      Cdim A
No one could be sweeter than my sweetie when I meet her in the morning
D                                   A           D                              A  F#7
Where the morning glories twine around the door,
B7                              E       E7  F#m            Bm7           E7 E7+
Whispering pretty stories   I  long to hear once more.

A                             AM7                       A6                    A#dim           Bm7   E7

Strolling with my girlie where the dew is pearly early in the morn-ing,
Bm                    F+                     Bm7                  Bm6                 Cmin7 A
Butterflies all flutter up and kiss each little buttercup at dawn-ing,
A                                               Em7    A7       
If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day - , 
D                                     B7                        E7
I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say:
A                               F#m               A               F#m              B7  E7 A 
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morn---ing.



Monday, 27 January 2014

Thanks to Tom Lehrer#2: THE UNIQUENESS OF 'NUCLEAR'

Presidents Carter and Bush
POST #19
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG:  "The Elements", Tom Lehrer 
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, October 2013.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, language, medical

You can view these lyrics and commentary (without images or chords)  displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post "Of Residents and Presidents"


THE UNIQUENESS of 'NUCLEAR'


(to the tune of "The Elements")

Singable Introduction:

There was a swarm of parodists who pounced straight for the jugular;
They satirized a Pres whose speech was smug yet sometimes struggular;
Disdain for George the Son, less blame for James from Plains in evidence;
They pegged the mis-spoke Nucular the catchword of the Presidents.

I toiled for several decades in the Section known as Nuclear;
Though now fairly famili-ar, I still find it peculi-ar
That highly educated voices, palatal and uvular
Would schedule tests, requests infested with the mis-spoke NUCULAR.



Tom Lehrer, parodist

  




There's popular and insular and regular, oracular
Cuticular, vehicular, vesicular, vernacular
And tabular and tubular and muscular and modular
And cellular and singular and circular and nodular.

There's fibular, follicular, and pustular and jocular 
Vestibular and valvular, auricular and ocular
And vascular, crepuscular and titular, testicular
Peninsular, peduncular, avuncular, particular.


Triangular, corpuscular, spectacular and annular,
Articular and angular, glomerular and granular,
And glandular and scapular and spicular and globular
Molecular, trabecular, lenticular and lobular. 

And endless adjectival terms in Med'cine and Biology
With current usage driven by their Latin deriv-ology,
Like saccular and secular and ovular, fascicular
Reticular, radicular, furuncular, funicular.


So, clearly there's no stimulus for apparatus cochlear,
That simulates the sound unique of proper-spoken Nuclear.






HOTLINKS TO OTHER MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
The Uniqueness of Nuclear (see below)
...AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Singable Limerick-Medley #17: Nuclear Cardiology
Singable Limerick-Medley #20: Medical Imaging


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

You can play/sing Tom Lehrer's original patter-song, "The Elements",  by checking  ouCorktunes, the songbook of the Corktown Ukulele Jam here.  The chord-charts have the alternate-line superscript format that many ukesters seem to love.
Lehrer had adapted the melody from "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". There are 3 somewhat different melodies/chord-sequences used in alteration through the GandS song, and in Lehrer's derived take-off.

My suggestion for the first 3 verses of the patter-list portion of this parody are shown here, but adapt them as you like! Incidentally, the Eb7 chord may look formidable to some - just use the barred version of D7 one fret higher, than slide back for the D7 that follows!


























Sunday, 26 January 2014

Scandal in SC: Palace of Malice

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Tea for Two" 1925,  as recorded later by Doris Day
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, August 2013.

KEYWORDS: classicsong, musicaltheatre, Carolinas

The South Carolina press has intermittently reported ongoing developments in a case of this type. Fortunately, the "hit-team" came to the attention of the police before intense harm was done.

PALACE OF MALICE

(to the tune of "Tea for Two")

Singable Introduction:
Pictures – “View upon page two”
Our Daily News with sleaze imbued;
We cluck and rue a couple’s fall from grace.
Who craves such depravities?
A poisoned slough, attorneys braced;
Why must we face domestic life debased ?

Weird entertainment – A pending arraignment,
Apprehent at an upstate resort.
Murder for hire? - Who’d think he’d conspire
While still settling his child-support?
Far from the exec-lounge glitzy;
Where Bank-Pres ritzy his mess disowned.
The spouse estranged, figuring that he’s deranged,
Had foul back-up schemes of her own.

Incompati - bility,
Just rancor and antipathy,
Just I sue you, and you sue me for spite;
Vendetta vicious, menage meretricious,
No conciliator, “it’s hopeless – I hate her”
We’ll publicly launder, parental rights squander, dear,  hear?

True intractability,
Just perverse animosity,
Just I stalk you, you threaten me for spite;
Spy-camera eyefuls and legal reprisals,
We’ll start with court orders then call in reporters
An overseas split, man, or hire me a hitman; Right? man?–

Scandals break, tabloids impart
You'd undertake death do us part 
The front-page scoop for everyone to read..
You've a sleazy live-in friend
Who'd bar  no holds for your revenge, 
Next nesting spot - the penitentiary !



Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook !
Corktunes: Palace of Malice

F#m7 = 6600

Dm7           G7          Dm7        G7    
Pictures – “View upon page two”
        CM7   C6              CM7         C6   
Our Daily News with sleaze imbued;
        Dm7        G7       Dm7      G7            Gm6   A7    
We cluck and rue a couple’s fall from grace.
Dm                 Gm6       Dm  A7        
Who craves such depravities?
    C#dim      Dm            C+          Fm6      
A poisoned slough, attorneys braced;
         F               G7          Dm7  G7      C      
Why must we face domestic life debased ?

C                    G7                  C                 F6  
Weird entertainment – A pending arraignment,
C         Dm7           G7              C      C+     
Apprehent at an upstate resort.
Am               Em7                  Am7                 Ddim
Murder for hire? - Who’d think he’d conspire
           Am               Em7               Am
While still settling his child-support?
Dm7                G7                   C
Far from the exec-lounge glitzy;
             Em7            Ddim      F              C          Dm7 
Where Bank-Pres ritzy his mess disowned.
C                         G7                  C6                   F 
The spouse estranged, figuring that he’s deranged,
G7    C                      Dm7            G7   C
Had foul back-up schemes of her own.

Dm7    G7   Dm7G7    
Incompati - bility,
         CM7     C6        CM7 C6    
Just rancor and antipathy,
        Dm7   G7           Dm7       G7        C      C6
Just I sue you, and you sue me for spite;
F#m7        B7               F#m7         B7
Vendetta vicious, menage meretricious,
       EM7  E6              EM7               E6             
No conciliator, “it’s hopeless – I hate her”
           F#m7   B7                 F#m7            B7              G#m    C7
We’ll publicly launder, parental rights squander, dear,  hear?

Dm7     G7       Dm7G7    
True intrac- tability,
        CM7         C6  CM7 C6    
Just perverse animosity,
         Dm7    G7           Dm7         G7        C      C6
Just I stalk you, you threaten me for spite;
F#m7             B7                 F#m7     B7
Spy-camera eyefuls and legal reprisals,
          EM7                     E6                  EM7       E6             
We’ll start with court orders then call in reporters
          F#m7   B7                    F#m7       B7          G#m    C7
An overseas split, man, or hire me a hitman; Right? man?–

Dm7         G7             Dm7     G7    
Scandals break, tabloids impart
           CM7   C6                 CM7   C6   
You'd undertake death do us part
        Dm7            G7              Dm7  G7        Gm6    A7    
The front-page scoop for everyone to read..
Dm            Gm6    Dm      A7        
You've a sleazy live-in friend
           C#dim    Dm           C+         Fm6      
Who'd bar  no holds for your revenge,
         F              G7            Dm7 G7    C      
Next nesting spot - the penitentiary !

Related Palindrome:

Murder for a jar of red rum.

Golf? No sir, prefer prison flog.


Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Non-Hunter's Martial Melody: Pen of Rabbits

Harlech castle, Wales
POST #17
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Men of Harlech", traditional Welsh hymn
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, August 2013.

KEYWORDS: traditional, environment, multicultural, diet, palindromes










Charlotte Church, child diva
 sings "Men of Harlech"









PEN of RABBITS

(to the tune of "Men of Harlech")

Welch rare-bit / rabbit
Singable Introduction:
Still today caer Harlech perches,
Dominating YouTube searches - 
Startling, stirring  [1], song of Church's
Steals your breath away.

Here’s a song about Welsh Rare-bit [2],
Squarely dealing with the hare-bits -
Seen on fare-bills quite a fair bit,
Patrons seem perplexed.

Rabbit Welsh – offensive nomen-
-clature used by Saxon foemen ?
“No Welsh eats, but cheese and dough, man,
‘less they poach some game.” [3]

Meat-free choice? – Just ask your hostess,
Beer-and-cheese-melt over toast; its
Celtic fans applaud and boast, it’s
Cambria’s national meal.

Some meat-shunners might eschew it
Welsh names for animals
Thinking it a hunter’s stew – but 
It lacks lagomorphs [4], that’s true – Bugs
Outwits Elmer Fudd!

Hare terse-verse is Nash’s [2]                 
Rare-bit search is Brasch’s [3]
‘HoJo’ wrote the spoof ‘Woad Ode’ [5]
Coniglio [6] penned some flashes.

Hail a dish that harms no hopsters
Not how Newberg hassles lobsters,
Fwycassees can fweak out sqwabsters -
Free the Cornish hen!

Easter rabbit hunt, New Zealand
Sadly, elsewhere, butchered rabbit
Satisfies game-lovers’ habits;
Easter special – Braised Brunch-Basket
Bunny-love abused.

Hard life in the burrows,
Where bereavement’s thorough;
Peters sad, their mom or dad
Got skewered for lunch ‘al burro’.

Hail a world that harms no hopsters,
Fricassees make quail no squabsters,
Calves should escape escalope, sirs !
Peace in field and warren !



[1] Charlotte Church aged 13, recorded the traditional ‘Men of Harlech’ 1998.
[2] Ogden Nash’s 2-line poem, ‘The Rabbits’
[3] Dr R. Brasch discusses the origins of ‘Welsh rabbit’ in ‘How Did It Begin’ , MJF Books, 2006.
[4] herbivorous mammals in a zoologic order which includes rabbits and hares.
[5] Best-known spoof  - a Boy-Scout song based on the ancient British tradition of fighting naked in woad dye -  by Eton housemaster W. Hope-Jones, ‘HoJo’, published 1921.
[6] Coniglio = rabbit  (Italian) 




Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook:
Corktunes: Pen of Rabbits

[C] Here’s a [F] song ab[C]out Welsh Rare-bit,
[F] Squarely [Dm] dealing [G] with the [G7] hare-bits -
[C] Seen on [F] fare-bills [C] quite a fair [F] bit,
[C] Patrons [G] seem per[C]plexed. [F] [C]

[G7] Hare terse-verse [G7sus] is [G] Nash’s           
[C] Rare-bit search [Csus] is [C] Brasch’s 
[C] ‘Ho[Csus]Jo’ [C] wrote the spoof ‘Woad Ode’ 
Coniglio penned [Csus] some [C] flashes.

final verse:
[F] Hail a [C] world that [Dm] harms no [C] hopsters,
[F] Fricas[Dm]sees make [G] quail no [G7] squabsters,
[C] Calves should [F] escape [C] es[G]ca[C]lope, [F] sirs !
[C] Peace in [G] field and [C] warren ! [F] [C] 

To play with a 'chimier' sound:

[C] Here’s [G7] a [F] song [G7] ab[C]out [G7] Welsh [C] Rare-[C5]-bit,
[F] Square[Am]ly [Dm] deal[Dm7]ing [G] with the [G7] hare-[G7sus]-bits -
[C] Seen [G7] on [F] fare-[G7] -bills [C] quite [G7] a [C] fair [F] bit,
[C5] Pat[C]rons [G] seem per[C]plexed.  [F]  [C]


Related Palindromes: 

Ate plate, elk cub, ergo ogre, buckle et al. - PETA.  

Sleep, eels. 

Step on no pets.

Meet animals; laminate 'em.

Pure talk. A yak later up.