Wednesday 14 May 2014


POST #41
ORIGINALSONG: "Big Rock Candy Mountain" Harry McClintock 1928, also recorded by Burl Ives, Johnny Cash etc.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, May 2014.

KEYWORDS: Canadian, classicsong

Of interest, the original song is a described as a folk music song about a hobo's version of paradise, a modern extension of the medieval concept of "Cockaigne".
You can view the lyrics and commentary (without images or chords) displayed on a parody-lyrics website at Post"BigRobRehabClinic"

(to the tune of "Big Rock Candy Mountain")

On a private flight
To escape from sight,
A burly mayor sat drinking. 
“Who’d shoot video
 Here in Chicago? 
 It could get a guy to thinking."

This song he sang
As he dreamed he’d hang
In a land with no detection,
Where a mayor’s rants get a second chance,
Then go home for the Election.

The buzzing in my brain,
Pass that bottle once again
Soon we’re going to show those cynics.                                      
It’s so easy to fly straight
I’ll get fit and  lose some weight, 
At the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
They’ve ashtrays if you smoke.
Staff will be compassionate
When you step outside to toke.”

“The landscaped grounds are lush with flowers,
With surveillance cameras blind. 
No reporters spy,
You can still get high. 
You can smoke some crack
On the pond out back 
In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

Some workout in the gym,
Go to chapel, sing a hymn,
Double-double chez Tim Horton. 
Guess the coke has got to go
Like my town, Etobicoke, 
No more pics of pipes or snortin’.” 

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
You shouldn’t pass a roach,
There’s quite a few big-screen TVs
And the waiters call you Coach.”

"When there’s a Big Game on the air,
They postpone Group Therapy. 
In your room there’re snacks,
With no charge or tax; 
So you’re in control
And not on the dole 
In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

Some workout in the gym,
Go to chapel, sing a hymn,
Double-double chez Tim Horton. 
Guess the coke should really go
Like my town, Etobicoke, 
No more shots of pipes or snortin’.” 

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
 You text or yack ad lib,
They don’t approve the one ‘Big Lie’,
But there’s lots of little fibs.”

 “I know that More Responsible ’s
 An option to select - at 
 A later date.
Make Ford Nation wait? 
They need spending pruned
And more subways soon 
 - Maybe, once I’m re-elected.”

The buzzing in my brain
Pass that bottle once again
Soon we’ll finger-sign those critics.    (GESTURE!)                                   
It’s so easy to fly straight
I’ll get fit and lose some weight, 
At the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.
At the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.) 

Related Palindromes

No sir! Prefer prison!

Red rumba hero, "No rehab! Murder!"

Denial slain, Ed.

Pure, boss is! Sober up!

No reneg-gene, Ron.

Turret samba-herd do odd rehab; master rut

For more lyrics, pics, and palindromes on this topic see the post of May 3, "Suburbs' Guy".

Tuesday 13 May 2014

Of Love Potions and Pharmaceutical Parody: OFF-PATENT DRUG # NINETEEN

POST #40
ORIGINAL SONG: "Love Potion Number Nine" , The Clovers  
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, December 2012.

From Wikipedia...... In November 2012, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that the patent on Viagra was invalid from the beginning as the company had not provided full disclosure.
This song imagines that Madame Ruth had relocated to Toronto towards the end of her career, pursuing her profession in the section known as Corktown - also known for massive ukulele-jam meetings at a local pub.

or Madame Ruth's Lament

(to the tune of "Love Potion Number Nine")

I had some troubles making magic pills,
You’ll know the new ones, like sildenafil;
In ‘62 I palmed some off and then I did some time:
Cop-assault seemed part of ... Love Potion Number Nine.

My new blue Love-Drug could be guys’ delight,
They'd stand to attention for part of the night.
How hard could it be to direct their urge at chicks?
The patent gave the details since ...  Nineteen Ninety-Six.

If they’d buy my knock-offs they would never flop,
I could scope out more ingredients and set up shop.
A good place to test it might be “where King meets Queen” -
I needed a success with ... Generic Drug Nineteen.

Got turned around and flustered when I checked out the lists;
The patent called for extracts in a strange solvent mix.
I swirled it in the bathtub with some weird catalysts;  
It stank like Potion Nine but I breathed in a few whiffs.

I packed it up though it was smoking green,
And grabbed and cabbed it to the Corktown scene,
But when I kissed the cop down at River Street and Queen,
She broke my 30 vials of  ...   Off-Patent Drug Nineteen.

Those vials were smoking  green,
That lady cop was mean,
Off-Patent Drug Nine-teen !

Psst!  Psst!
If you have troubles when you’re in a hug,
There’s knock-off drug enough to fill a jug;
But please ignore the fact that the pills are shocking green,
And please avoid the corner of  ...   River St and Queen.

Off-Patent Drug Nineteen x2
Off-Patent Drug Nineteen!

Off-Patent Drug#19 (see below)
Singable Limerick-Medley #17: Nuclear Cardiology
Singable Limerick-Medley #20: Medical Imaging

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Saturday 10 May 2014

Shakespearean Innovation: The Modern Hamlet Monologue

POST #39
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". 
LYRICS: modified from W. Shakespeare "Hamlet (Prince of Denmark)".
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January 2013.  


(to the tune of "The Major-General's Song") 

Major General Stanley

Ken Branagh as Hamlet

The bard named William Shakespeare, though we sometimes see him as a seer,

In this regard aped Chris, his pard, and other 'lizabethan peers;

They backed the wrong verse-horse, which proved a musical calamiter:
           D                                                            A7               D

Their tragi-comic scripts were scribed in iambic pentameter.

      D7                                                                     Gm

To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous;
       F7                                                                Bb  

Protagonizing recitation of his pond'rings ominous
           D7                                                                                     Gm

Gives Hamlet back-row status when upstaged by old Polonius,
            Eb7                                                                               D7

Who's scatting catchy melodies from Brubeck and Thelonious.


To be or not to be, that is the question; whether mentally

'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer arrows incidentally

And slings of fate outrageous; or take arms against a sea of woes,
        D                                                               A7                          D 

And with a drubbing end those troubling shocks we devoutly oppose.

      D7                                                                               Gm
To die or sleep might help us keep those achy-breaky hearts at bay;
      F7                                                                                              Bb
To sleep, perchance to dream; aye, there's the rubbish plain in what I say:                                                                                                                      D7                                                                                               Gm 
In sleep of death, what dreams, when we have shuffled off this mortal noose
          Eb7                                                                                     D7
Must give us pause to contemplate the square on the hypotenuse.

       D7                                                                                   Gm  
For who would bear the whips and scorns of temporal adversity.
       F7                                                                                          Bb

Oppressor's wrong, the pangs of despised love, and such perversity?
          D7                                                                                         Gm

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, and we sit idle - ly,
       Eb7                                                                      D7 

For none dare bare a bodkin, to employ it sui-cidally. 


That undiscover'd country, singing Shakespeare, posed for centuries,

Has puzzled wills, but why wait 'til we're long-in-tooth or dentury?

I wrote this rhyming flyer and I now can post it on a blog,
       D                                               A7                       D

My sing-along soliloquy ... the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

        G                  D7                                  G                            D7             

This tantalizing task he's flogged; his post can boast upon a blog -
       G                    C                      G            D7         G

His sing-along soliloquy's the Modern Hamlet Monologue.


The Prince's many solos in this play when spoke sound tedious;

We now anticipate to hear them crooned - but hold off, greedy us;
   G                             D                     G                                D

I might insert some trios trilled by Gertrude, Ghost and Claudius,
         G                           D                          G              G7                D       
With scoring, although borrowed, quite encoring and applaudious.
       G                         D7                             G               D7                            
For now, I'll post upon my blog, both digital and analogue,
       G                     C                     G            D7          G   

My Sing-Along Soliloquy's the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

        G                                 D7                               G                         D7  
This plugged up conduit he's unclogged, he now can post it on a blog,
       G                      C                     G            D7          G

His Sing-Along Soliloquy's the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook:
Corktunes: Modern Hamlet Monologue

PlayingNotes: Eb7 is easily fingered by using the barred version of D7, up the neck 1 position
Weird Al Yankovic - a Hamlet moment

Saturday 3 May 2014

A Rob Ford Mayoral Procession: "SUBURBS' GUY"

Hallowe'en reveller, 2013
Dominion-on-Queen Tavern
POST #38
ORIGINAL SONG: "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)" , Hank Williams
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, October 2013. Click here to see a photo of the song being performed at a ukulele jam.

Sunday Radio Show, in progress


(to the tune of "Jambalaya")

Yo T.O! radio show! - it’s your Mayor.
I’m on air with Councillor-frère and some taxpayers,
Pitching woo to voters who live near the ‘9-0-’,
Itch to stretch pet subway ditch out to Scarborough.

Fairly large, fun bein’ in charge, no burden heavy;
While I’m munching, number-crunchers hunt out ‘Gravy’;
Cancel fees, tax-rate freeze, void ‘Commie’ ‘s surplus,
Small ‘c’ - conserve, big ‘C’ – condemn essential service.

Drill end-runs, petty funds, coach team-students;
Ref-provincial thinks ethical imprudence.
Parents miffed, poor kids dissed, sidelined Mayor,
Nearly burned – overturned!! (coach on waivers)

Yo T.O ! back on board, Ford Nation's Mayor,
Still on air with Dougie there and fake taxpayers;
Ombudsman’s ‘Nay’ ? – friends’ job-favors my nature,
Threat’n her post, thumb my nose at Legislature.

Comic Walsh caused a splash with TV crew,
Invade 'Burbs, parked by curb, attack-interview;
9-1-1, hoped fuzz come and gonn’ snatch her,
Speech bit slurred, hurled f-word at dispatcher.

Public-stoned, driving-phoned, don’t want chauffeur,
Fracas with a bad-ass streetcar operator.
Retinue, there’s a few drug-scene players,
They’re indebted, ref’rence letters: Office - Mayor’s.

Star, Post, Globe spy and probe – Canadian capers,
‘Let them sue me’ – I’m abused by nati’nal Papers;
Just deny damning DUI in Miami -oh
Pressing prob’ - probably some slob shot a video.

But…… Hello Folks, mellow with tokes or martini,
Nay-sayers can’t so easily outsmart me –
Gawker outbid, world got rid of what’s hid -eeoh
Bright son-of-a-gun might’ve connived to buy the video.

Suburbs’ Guy, stuffed with pie, shirt-size jumbo,
Bigger-’n-life, spare no strife, mode crafty-dumb -oh
Sometimes high out o’ camera’s eye, sitting pretty -oh
Might’ve connived and tried t’ hide that crack-pipe video
Someone my size likely devised t’ buy that video.

Suburbs' Guy (see below)
Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

To play the original song Jambalaya, check out Corktunes, the songbook of the Corktown Ukulele Jam here
A highly recommended parody-song on this topic is found at: video of B.MacC.'s Rob Ford parody

Related Palindromes

Now Roy, am I mayor won. 

Call - I'd a Cadillac.

Toronto - got no rot.

Dr. of trams - smart Ford !

Yaw, Bus Civic  - Subway !

Dr. of Borrow, or Rob Ford ? 

Rise to vote, sir.

Elect, Cele

Not so, Boston.

No Rob on ten-alp planet No-Boron.