Wednesday 30 April 2014

A Ballad of Hospital Restructuring: MERGERWOCKY



POST #37
PASTICHE with PARODY-LYRICS, dedicated to JJH for his 39+th birthday
ORIGINAL SONG: "The House of the Rising Sun" as recorded by "The Animals" 1964, and covered by many others. The original song was a "traditional" folk-piece, first adapted by Roy Acuff, also recorded as a folksong by Woodie Guthrie, Lead Belly, the Weavers, Joan Baez, Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan. 
POETIC PARODY LYRICS:  "Mergerwocky", G. Hurwitz, published in the Western News, 2000, with a more recent version reposted on our sister blog "EDIFYING NONSENSE" with the author's permission. This poetic parody draws inspiration from Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky.
ORIGINAL POEM: "Jabberwocky", Lewis Carroll, 1871; the poem was included in the children's novel "Through the Looking Glass" in 1871.    
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, 2014. Some changes in the lyrics from the published version of Mergerwocky were necessary to fit the target song.

KEYWORDS: pastiche, classicsong, Canada, medical















MERGERWOCKY


(to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun")

Restructure! so the i.v. teams
Reclaimed recycled waste.
De-focused were the laser beams
And the closed wards outplaced.

"Beware the Mergertalks, my son!
St Joe's won't bite Council lunch!
Beware the Job-Job bird, and shun
The clawbacking Budgetcrunch.   

He shook his VPs' golden hands:
A business plan he maps,
Then spreadshot he by the Lap-Top key
And synchronized his apps.  

And  as in upsized thought stood he,
The Mergerwock, error-claimed
Came sniffling through the OPD,
De-listing as it came.

Old site! New Site! And deep in debt:
The shuttle-bus shuffled wards.
"Let's integrate, new Mission state!"
He e-mailed to the Board. 

"And hast thou done the Merger-deal?"
A mix of cheers and snarls;
"Come to Grand Rounds, my deanish boys
At the Princess-Di-and-Charles". 

'Twas Wednesday; at the clubhouse bar
Griped Rae-dayed Docs anew,
"Our Conjoint Foursomes shoot near par,
But the Brass still play through, 
But the Brass still play through !"




















HOTLINKS TO OTHER CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)
Limericks About Chemainus, B.C.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

To play the original song, House of the Rising Sun, (Animals' version), check out Corktunes, the songbook of the Corktown Ukulele Jam here.

























Monday 28 April 2014

Seniors' Sports-Injury Song: R(est)-I(ce)-C(ompression)-E(levation)




POST #36
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "YMCA" Village People, 1978.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2014.


You can view the lyrics and commentary (without images or chords) displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post"R-I-C-E"









RICE is a mnemonic for 4 elements used to treat soft-tissue and other injuries.



R-I-C-E            
          
(to the tune of "Y-M-C-A")

Intro:  Rest - Ice - Compression - Elevation  x2

Old man with a sports injury 
I said old man with sprained neck, twisted knee 
I said thin man with sad bone-density 
And your brittle bones so snappy.

Old man on the floor of the gym
I said old man with a red swollen limb 
You can stay there, moaning woe-is-me hymn 
Or find ways to mobilize it (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
You could get an MR, deal with specialists' claims, 
Short-term treatment will be the same.
  
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E. 
If you've Medicare B , there'll be no fees you owe 
When you hang out at Physio.

Sometimes, there's a glitch in this scheme - 
Early X-rays aren't as smart as they seem,
Subtle fractures missed by linear beam,
And a  scan is more revealing.

Symptoms, this might all help explain,
After one week, why you're still wracked by pain,
So some bone-meds you will likely be takin', 
 'long with RICE, then ambulation  (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
It's First-Aid of choice, as approved by your grand-pa, 
And it still is the modern mantra.

R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
If you've Medicare B, there'll be no fees you owe 
Complete ACL tear
Surgical intervention required
When you hang out at Physio.

Rarely, when you see Dr Dodd,
(worth waiting, he's a sharp orthopod),
He'll astound you, "it's unstable - good God!"
Hip or  knee or shin needs fixing.

Post-op, Doc's rewired your limb, 
Turn up volume, and just listen to him. 
Pain is screaming, don't sign out on a whim, 
You've just got to know this one thing (rest, raise, freeze, compress). 

                                           
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E,
 it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
You could  threaten to sue, dream of injury claims, 
Short-term treatment will be the same.

R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
Old man, old man on the floor of the gym, 
Old man, old man with the red swollen limb 

Fade:
R-I-C-E, you're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E,
Old man, old man with sprained neck, twisted knee...


HOTLINKS TO OTHER MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
R-I-C-E (see below)
...AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Singable Limerick-Medley #17: Nuclear Cardiology
Singable Limerick-Medley #20: Medical Imaging


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)
































Wednesday 16 April 2014

A Geriatric Odyssey: UNDER MY OWN STEAM, part #1













POST #35
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "I've Been Everywhere", by Lucky Starr, covered by Hank Snow, Johnny Cash et al. 
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, June 2013.


You can view the lyrics and commentary (without images or chords)  displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post "Under My Own Steam"


UNDER MY OWN STEAM, part #1

(to the tune of "I've Been Everywhere")

Introduction:

Lucky Starrted with Strine, his Brit and Kiwi versions also strode,
When along dashed the Yankees, Johnny Cashed on covering Hank Snow.
Stompin’ Tom spewed the Canadian spin; his take's sure to please.
Go and scrutinize YouTube - you’ll find a slew of odysseys.
I ask you why our self-esteem and our nobility
 Seem to be linked in every culture to our road-mobility.

I was coaxing my frame into an achy Seniors’ Clinic seat,
When along came a student who spoke up, not having to repeat,
“While you’re here in Geriatrics, Pops, with me you can spout.”
 So I clambered on the couch, and then I let my story out.
He asked me if I didn’t need a scooter to get ‘round,
And I said, “On my own I’ll manage ‘til they lay me in the ground.”

Sites visited in the Johnny Cash odyssey

I’ve gone every way, son
Made it every day, son  
Deserted, seldom stayed, son   
Breezed past, moved on, strayed, son
I’ve lived out my own dream, son
Under my own steam.
   

I’ve led and followed, sped wallowed, vaulted tumbled, somersaulted,
Raced chased, outpaced, failed-to-place, been defaulted,
Beat-the-pack, pavement-pounded, trailed and tracked, dogged and hounded,
Hustled bustled, rushed hurried, lagged and straggled, crashed rebounded,
Hiked biked, unicyked, spurted sprinted, streaked and straddled,
Sailed bailed, jibed and tacked, roved diverted, scudded paddled.

I’ve gone every way, son
Traveling is my play, son  
Need to get around, son   
‘Til I’m in the ground, son
I’ve lived out my own dream, son
Under my own steam. 

Whirled twisted, flailed and flitted, hauled and shlepped, toted carried,
Hurtled hovered, scurried scrammed, coasted cruised, shuttled ferried,
Galloped loped, trotted hopped, lunged and pounced, scampered slithered,
Skimmed and swooped, swerved swivelled, waddled trampled, charged and dithered.
Darted started, lit departed, inched flinched, punted perched,
Posted cantered, wriggled floundered, bolted sprung, skulked and lurched.

I’ve gone every way, son
Made it every day, son  
Breezed past, mosied, strayed, son
Deserted, seldom stayed, son   
I’ve lived out my own dream, son
Under my own steam.   

Under my own steam! 


See post #112 for a sequel!!







HOTLINKS TO OTHER MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
Under My Own Steam part#1 (see below)
...AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Singable Limerick-Medley #17: Nuclear Cardiology
Singable Limerick-Medley #20: Medical Imaging


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

I like doing this song with progressive key changes, as in the Lucky Starr versions of the song; or if you like you can keep it simple like Johnny Cash did, and leave it all in the key of C.