POST #26
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Elements", Tom Lehrer
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013.
You can view these lyrics and commentary (without images or chords) displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post "No Elements"
NO ELEMENTS
(to the tune of "The Elements")
Singable Introduction:
Tom Lehrer became a legend with his scientific patter-song,
More popular and loved than his unpublished “Anti-Matter Song”;
Enhancing humdrum discourse, just to quote his ode lends elegance
To conversation thrumming with the spectrum of the Elements.
We face this glum conundrum as alumni of Philology -
Lay-folk would like a list replete with Latin etymology
The possibilities for neutral nouns in -U-M loom awesome;
No need to invoke hokum terms like tantrum or opossum, chum.
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| Most names for elements are neutral Latin nouns |
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| The Roman empire included England |
 |
| A famous building in Rome |
The Patter-Song Lyrics:
There’s atrium, asylum, arboretum, auditorium
Compendium and modicum and rostrum, crematorium
And coliseum, quantum, condominium, euphonium
And album, acetabulum, museum, pandemonium.
There’s maximum and minimum and optimum and medium
And opium, opprobrium, colloquium and tedium
Colostrum, serum, sputum, sebum, nostrum and meconium
And sternum, talcum, labium, ovum, spermatogonium.
Caladium, nasturtium and laburnum and geranium
And sacrum, c(a)ecum, ischium and tympanum and cranium
Consortium, memorandum, and symposium and podium
Desideratum, datum, vacuum, ultimatum, odium.
There’s pablum, perineum, paramecium, petroleum
And locum and inoculum, lyceum and linoleum
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| A few English words ending in -UM are not of Latin origin |
Mycelium, flagellum, endothelium and cilium.
There’s quorum and decorum, mausoleum, moratorium
And premium, per-annum, honorarium, emporium
And pendulum and forum, fulcrum, speculum, bacterium
And cerebellum, plenum, sum, curriculum, delirium.
Gymnasium and stadium and magnum and terrarium
Solarium, momentum, myocardium, aquarium
And scrotum and factotum and postpartum and continuum
And duodenum, referendum, rectum and residuum.
Addendum #1
There's stratum, alum, allium, alluvium et alia,
And mom's pouch called marsupium, but mostly in Australia.
Addendum #2
There's stratum, alum, allium, alluvium et alia,
And mom's pouch called marsupium, but mostly in Australia.
Addendum #2
To plural them, heads swirling them, “What single rule? - please answer, Pa”.
My dictum, “Don’t inflict ‘em with erratums or chrysanthema !” Playing Notes:
Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics for this parody-song in the Parody-Song addendum to the Corktown Ukulele jam songbook:
Corktunes: No Elements
Also note that you can play/sing Tom Lehrer's original patter-song The Elements, by checking out Corktunes, the songbook of the Corktown Ukulele Jam here. The chord-charts have the alternate-line superscript format that many ukers find preferable.
Lehrer had adapted the melody from "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". There are 3 somewhat different melodies/chord-sequences used in alteration through the GandS song, and in Lehrer's derived take-off.
My suggestion for the first 3 verses of the patter-list portion of this parody are shown here, but adapt them as you like! Incidentally, the Eb7 chord may look formidable to some - just use the barred version of D7 one fret higher, than slide back for the D7 that follows!
There’s [G] atrium, asylum, arboretum, auditorium
Com[D7] pendium and modicum and rostrum, crematorium
And [G] coliseum, quantum, condominium, euphonium
And [D] album, acetabulum, mu[A7]seum, pande[D]monium.
There’s [D7] maximum and minimum and optimum and [Gm] medium
And [F7] opium, opprobrium, colloquium and [Bb] tedium
Col[D7]ostrum, serum, sputum, sebum, nostrum and me[Gm]conium
And [Eb7] sternum, talcum, labium, ovum, spermato[D7]gonium.
Ca[G]ladium, nasturtium and laburnum and geranium
And [D7] sacrum, cecum, ischium and tympanum and cranium
Con[G]sortium, memo[D7]randum, and sym[G]posium and [D7] podium
De[G]sideratum, [C] datum, vacuum, [G] ulti[D7]matum, [G] odium.
et cetera!
Related Palindromes: Latin examples found at Auxilium: Palindroma
There seem to be no published examples of phrases based on the neutral nouns !!!
Ave, Eva. (Hail, Eve !)
Sum summus mus. (I am the top mouse)
Et tiger non regit te. (And the tiger doesn't rule thee).
Aures serua. (Safeguard your ears).
Sator Arepo Tenet Opera Rotas. (The famous "Sator Square" - can be read either horizontally or vertically)
Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor. (In Rome, love will go to you suddenly)
No grasp, Alf, on no flaps - argon.
No dare, elf - flee radon.
Adage of the Week (Egad an adage!)
1."I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school, so I could converse with those people." - attributed (incorrectly?) to Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President.
2. Semper ubi sub ubi. Anonymous
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