Uke-Lament for the Undefended Border: "AN ALIEN HEADING SOUTH"

PARODY-LYRICS, subbed into 2 songs.

ORIGINAL SONG#1:  "Mr. Spaceman" , The Byrds, 
1966 -  verses 1,2, and 10.
ORIGINAL SONG #2. " Englishman in New York", Sting, 1987 - all other parody verses.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November, 2014.

Lexicon:

Pair-ody = satirical lyrics substituted into a mix of 2 original songs

DHS = Department of Homeland Security

CRA = Canada Revenue Agency

BNL = Barenaked Ladies, a well-known Canadian band

ALIEN HEADING SOUTH

(to the tune of "Mr Spaceman")

 Woke up this morning, an odd taste in my mouth, and 

Then I realized we were due to head south,

 Warm U.S. cottage, with dual-cit. spouse - 
I hope they won’t keep me out.

Hey, DHS-man, I really hate to ask -  I'd 

like to stay the max.

Hey, DHS-man, won’t you please let me in for 6 months.

(to the tune of "Alien in New York")

Hey, Mister Inquisitor, I’m just a snowbird-visitor,

I'm sure that I am not the only one;
I’ve sent “Closer Connection”-form, in IRS’s direction, for

I plan to live and die a native son. 

You’ll find no trace of felony, of villainy or zealotry

I’m not the sort who plans to overstay.

ISIS I repudiate, I file my taxes never late,

In fact I’m on good terms with CRA. 

I don't drink Starbuck's, just Tim Horton's, Sir,

Always a donut on the side,

I take my hockey gear everywhere I walk,

I’m myself, a trailer-park Canuck.    Whoa-.

 –oh, Not some alien: visiting Canadian

A Canadian with his puck. Whoa

–oh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some

A Canadian with his puck.  

If music makes the man, and threats you rate,
Then I'm the zero of the day,
I play my Lightfoot, Twain, Dion and Stompin' Tom
BNL, Avril, Biebs or Buble.
  
I'll trade my "loonies" at your banks to shop,

I won’t take anybody’s job, 

I’ll hide my views on climate-change and gun-control,

And no one should take me for a snob.  Whoa


 –oh, Not some alien: passported Canadian

 A Canadian with his puck. Say 

–eh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some

 A Canadian with his puck.  

(to the tune of "Mr Spaceman")
Hey, DHS-man, I know the rules can change; I

won’t do anything strange.

Hey, DHS-man, won’t you please let me in for a while.

(to the tune of "Alien in New York")
Say, "eh", Not some alien: visiting Canadian

A Canadian with his puck. Say 

–eh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some

A Canadian with his puck.  

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Uke-Song: CANADA DAY 2024, and 'The Travellers' Sing: "SOMETHING TO GROAN ABOUT"

PARODY LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Something To Sing About" by Oscar Brand, 1963. You can listen to the well-known version by The Travellers on YouTube here.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, June 2018. To see the lyrics displayed more concisely without the chord-indications (and to return to "Daily Illustrated Nonsense"), click HERE.  

WORDPLAY LINK: For palindromes, anagrams, verse, and Scrambletown maps, see our wordplay blog, Edifying Nonsense here.


SOMETHING TO GROAN ABOUT

(to the tune of "Something To Sing About")     


I have asked Kim Jong Un, if he please would come visit soon,
Climate up here's 'bout the same as Pyongyang.
There'd be Raptors to watch, as he'd ratchet things up a notch,
And it's close to D.C. He replied, and he sang...

KIM's CHORUS#1: "Your mistake was to shelve war way back .. after 1812
(Conflicts North-South helped my clan get ahead).
An armed border zone keeps two entities on their own.
When Yanks ask 'DMZee?', you demand 'DMZed'." 

Great Leader, don't send missiles  to our Queen Charlotte Isles,
Misty mystical place natives call 'Haida Gwai'.
We hope you and Don work things out, no need to rant and shout.
Diplomacy's tough, but please give it a try.

 KIM'S CHORUS#2: "From the wheat on your Prairies to the cheese from your dairies,
Metal tariffs in place on U.S. border fence.
You should follow our music score, as played in Singapore.
Hide heavy weapons, cozy up to Trump-Pence."

Kim, don't plant any nuke on, our territory called the Yukon.
The soil there's quite poor --  permafrost, rocks and scree.
It's too cold to grow a cuke on; you'll need to keep your tuque on
When you visit with Dennis. Bring extra kimchee.

KIM's CHORUS#1 (reprise): "Your mistake was to shelve .. war way back after 1812,
(Conflicts North-South helped my clan get ahead.)
An armed border zone keeps two entities on their own.
When Yanks ask for 'DMZee', just demand 'DMZed'."  

HOTLINKS TO OTHER CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS

An Alien Heading South

Big Rob Rehab Clinic

Canadian Reunion

Canoeing Lesson

I've Got Anagrams, Eh?

Flight of the Loonie

FOP-Shop Wine

Mergerwocky

Off-Patent Drug #19

Prattle of New Orleans

Suburbs' Guy

The Maple Leaf Ad Infinitum 

This Land Has Anagrams

TTC Voices

Vancouver's Isle

..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS

Shania Twain's "Verse": An anthem for limericists. 

Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)

Limericks About Chemainus, B.C.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT (and guitar, too!)

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Specifics for C-tuned ukulele:
A = 2100;  D = 2220;  F#m = 2120;  E7 = 1202; E = 4447;  B7 = 2322 

 WORDPLAY LINK: 

For wordplay (palindromes, anagrams, eggcorns, creative cartography, etc.) and silly poetry (polished limericks), see our sister blog "EDIFYING NONSENSE" here. 

ORIGINAL SONG-LYRICS