Monday, 30 December 2013

A Baseball Song: Take Our Hats Off to Borge

POST #11
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" 1908, Norworth and von Tilzer, as performed by Sinatra/Kelly, spoofed by Victor Borge.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, September 2013. 

KEYWORDS:  classicsong, wordplay, sports

The second verse invokes the sort of patron with whom you sometimes have to share the cheap-seats-section of your local ballpark; the rendition is modified by the 'traditional' earlier start of lyrics versus music (“Borge-positive version”); the less well-known opposite distortion (“Borge-negative version”) is also shown.  

TAKE OUR HATS OFF TO BORGE


(to the tune of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame")











Victor's "Clown Prince of Denmark” -
Unique musical gags;
He detached lyrics and melody - 
Spiffier spoof than an old parody.
For if you can handle the offset
The cadence will hit the mark,
Seventh In - ning  home-run you’ll score
At the old ballpark.

Tickets cheap for the ballgame,
Seats right up in the clouds;
We won’t buy overpriced drinks and snacks -
Friends snuck in with a couple six-packs.
Let me hoot and jeer at the home-team;
My date’s dismayed that she came,
For it’s one, two, three beers you’re out
At the old ballgame.


(BORGE Version - Lyrics advanced):
………..   (Tickets)
Cheap for the ballgame; seats right
Up in the clouds we won’t
Buy overpriced drinks and snacks  - Friends snuck
In with a couple six-packs. Let me
Hoot and jeer at the home-team;  my date’s
Dismayed that she came, for it’s
Big crowd at Rogers Dome
One, two, three beers you’re out at the
Old ball-game.   xxx-xxx.

(Funky Version - Lyrics Delayed):
xxx-xxx. Tickets cheap for the
Ballgame, seats right up in
The clouds, we won’t buy drinks overpriced
And snacks - Friends snuck in with a couple
Six-packs; let me hoot and jeer at the
Home-team, my date’s dismayed that
She came, for  it’s  one, two, three beers
You’re out at the old.
……….. (ballgame).


Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook:
Corktunes: Take Our Hats Off To Borge

F#7 = 3424

[Bb] Victor's "Clown Prince of [F] Denmark” -
[Bb] Unique musical [F7] gags;
[G7] He detached lyrics and [Cm] melody - 
[C7] Spiffier spoof than an [F7] old parody.
For if [Bb] you can handle the [F7] offset
The [Bb] cadence will hit the [Eb] mark,
Seventh [Cm]In -[F#7]  ning  [Bb] home-run you’ll score
At the [C7] old [F7] ball[Bb]park.

[Bb] Tickets cheap for the [F] ballgame,
[Bb] Seats right up in the [F7] clouds;
[G7] We won’t buy overpriced [Cm] drinks and snacks -
[C7] Friends snuck in with a [F7] couple six-packs.
Let me [Bb] hoot and jeer at the [F7] home-team;
My [Bb] date’s dis[Bb7]mayed that she [Eb] came,
For it’s [Cm7] one, [F#7] two, [Bb] three beers you’re out
At the [C7] old [F7] ball[Bb]game.

(BORGE +ve Version): Lyrics advanced before music

………..   (Tickets)
[Bb] Cheap for the ballgame [F] seats right,
[Bb] Up in the clouds we [F7] won’t
[G7] Buy overpriced drinks and [Cm] snacks  - friends snuck
[C7] In with a couple [F7] six-packs. Let me
Hoot and [Bb] jeer at the home-team;  [F7] my date’s
Dis[Bb]mayed that she [Bb7] came, for [Eb] it’s
One, two, [Cm7] three [F#7] beers [Bb] you’re out at the
Old ball[C7]game.   xxx-xxx.

(BORGE –ve Version): Lyrics delayed

[Bb] xxx-xxx. Tickets cheap [F] for the
[Bb] Ballgame, seats right up [F7] in
[G7] The clouds, we won’t buy [Cm] drinks overpriced
[C7] And snacks - Friends snuck in  [F7] with a couple
 Six-packs; [Bb] let me hoot and jeer [F7] at the
 Home-[Bb]-team, my [Bb7] date’s dismayed [Eb] that
 She came, [Cm7] for  [F#7] it’s [Bb] one, two, three beers
 You’re out [C7] at [F7] the [Bb] old
……….. (ballgame).




Friday, 20 December 2013

Homage to Pierre Berton: CANOEING LESSON

POST #10
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do", ABBA, 1975.
PARODY COMPOSED:  Giorgio Coniglio, March 2013.

KEYWORDS: Canada, goldenoldy, environment


"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe", Pierre Berton, eminent Canadian journalist, editor, historian and author.


CANOEING LESSON

(to the tune of "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do")

Intro: 

Need a location, eh? Lakeside assignation?
Space for two:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

You’ll use the J-stroke, to steer straight; and for gay-folk
Take a crew;
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Best pick a partner like Twiggy, but short;
Bow to discomfort if trapped ’neath the thwart.

Put down your paddle, when you climb in the saddle.
’musez-vous !
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Wear your preserver, ’cause things might get rude,
If Mounties spot-check, and you’re in the nude.

Don’t lean on the gunwale, should you enter a tunnel;
This tip’s true:
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Pierre Berton coined it our iconic boat,
Control paroxysms, you’re certain to float.

Get with your tête-à-tête, and not get quite soaking wet,
C’est beau !
Canot, canot, canot, canot, canot.

One final pointer:  l’avant-canotage –
Don’t flirt with fore-play pendant le portage.

There’s no better bateau built for Anglo- or Franco –
Vous et nous;
Canoe, canot, Canuck, canot, canoe.

Outro: 







HOTLINKS TO OTHER CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
Canoeing Lesson (see below)
..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)






























Wednesday, 18 December 2013

International Songs: More of Lil's Selections



That's Amore

F           C7   F                                                           
When  the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
Bdim        C7
That's amore
C7
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
 Bdim      F   
That's amore
F
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
                           Bdim  C7
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
C7
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
                   Bdim F   
Like a gay tarantella  

F        C7   F   
When the stars make you drool just like pasta fazool
 Bdim        C7
That's amore
C7
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
                 A7      D7   
You're in love 
                   Gm7                                   Bbm                                           F
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming signore
Bdim   C7
Scusa-mi, but you see, back in old Napoli
C7            F            :|x2
That's amore                   
                   F     | / / C7!|F!
That’s  amore.


Moscow Nights

The original was created as "Leningrad Nights" by composer Solovyov-Sedoi and poet Matusovsky in 1955, but changed at the request of the Ministry of Culture for use in a documentary about a national athletic competition. The tune was subsequently popularized in the west by Van Cliburn in 1958, and recorded with commercial success by Kenny Ball and the Jazzmen, and the Chad Mitchell Trio in the early 60s. 

Am                     Dm7               E7          Am
Stillness in the grove, not a rustling sound,
C                            G7                        C
Softly shines the moon clear and bright
B7     E7 Am                                  Dm      
Dear  if  you could know, how I treasure so
                  Am           Dm7 E7  Am
This most beautiful Moscow  night.


Am                      Dm7         E7     Am       
Nye slíshní v sadu dazhe shoroxhi,
C                            G7         C
Vsyo zdes’ zamerlo do utra
B7 E7  Am                           Dm      
Yesli b znali ví, kak mnye dorogi
      Am                Dm7 E7Am 
PodMoskov-níe  ve-chera.  

Am            Dm7               E7      Am
Lazily the brook, like a silv'ry stream
C                       G7               C 
Ripples gently in the moonlight
B7 E7 Am                            Dm      
And a song afar fades as in a dream
            Am              Dm7 E7  Am
In the spell of the sum-mer night.

Am                       Dm7         E7         Am
Ryechka dvizhetsya I nye dvizhetsya
C                     G7            C 
Vsya iz lunnogo syeryebra
B7  E7  Am                      Dm      
Pesnya slíshitsya I nye slíshitsya
         Am    Dm7 E7 Am
V eti tixhie ve-chera.

Am                       Dm7                E7             Am   
Dearest why so sad, why the downcast eyes
C                         G7                   C           
And your lovely head bent so low ?
B7  E7   Am                                  Dm      
Oh, it’s hard to speak, and yet not to speak
            Am              Dm7   E7     Am  
Of the longing my heart does know

Am                   Dm7               E7   Am  
Chto zh tí milaya smotrish’ iskosa 
C                G7            C 
Nizko golovu naklonya ?
B7  E7 Am                       Dm      
Trudno vískazat’ I nye vískazat’
                  Am                 Dm7 E7  Am
Vsyo chto na syerdtsye u  mye-nya.

Am                       Dm7              E7         Am
Promise me my love, as the dawn appears
C                             G7              C 
And the darkness turns into light
B7   E7       Am                                          Dm
That you’ll cherish dear, through the passing years
                  Am          Dm7  E7   Am  
This most beautiful Mos-cow night.


Am               Dm7             E7     Am
A rassvet uzhe vsyo zametneye
C                     G7               C 
Tak, pozhaluista bud’ dobra
| B7 E7 Am              Dm      
Nye zabud’ I tí, eti lyetniye
       Am            Dm7 E7 Am  | x2
PodMoskovníe ve-chera. 




Torna a Surriento

The wonderful original song, written in Neapolitan, has been recorded by Caruso, Lanza, Pavarotti, and Bocelli among others. Its famous English knock-off, "Surrender" written by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman in 1961 was widely popularized by Elvis Presley. See my parody-song posted as "Stuck on Elvis".

Gm
Vide ‘o mare quant’è bello
Cm                       Gm
Spira tantu sentimento, 
              Cm                  Gm
Comme tu a chi tiene mente
D         D7                    Gm
Ca scetato ‘o faje sunà. 

G                                       Am

Guarda, gua’ chistu ciardino.
D                                    G6
Siente, sie’ sti sciure arance:
G                                 Am
Nu profumo accussi fino
D                                  G
Dinto ‘o core se ne va.
G                                  Am   
E tu dice “I’ parto, addio!”
B7                            Em
T’alluntane da stu core
     Cm                        G
De sta terra de l’ammore,
D             D7                   G
Tiene ‘o core e nun turnà?
     Gmaj7         G6    Am7  Am
Ma nun  me lassà !
D           D7                 G6       G
Nun darme stu turmiento 
Cm                G5+7  Gm
Torna  a  Sur-rien-to,
D           D7    Gm
Famme cam-pà !
.


Funiculì, Funiculà 

            F              
Aieressera, oi Nanninè, me ne sagliette,
      C           F          C           F   
Tu saie addò, tu saie addò
      F  
Addò 'stu core 'ngrato cchiu dispietto
      C             F
Farme nun pò ! x2
      Am    E7      Am     E7      Am
Addò lo fuoco coce, ma si fuie
      E7        Am
Te lassa sta ! x2
    C          G                  C       G           G     
E nun te corre appriesso, nun te struie, 
      G              C       G7             C
Sulo a guardà,  Sulo a guardà, !

(Chorus):
C7
Jammo, jammo, 'ncoppa jammo jà,
                                                           F
Jammo, jammo, 'ncoppa jammo jà,
            A             Dm
Funiculì, funiculà x2
Bb                         F
‘ncoppa jammo jà,
            C7            F 
Funiculì, funiculà.
  
            F
Nè…. Jammo da la terra a la montagna!
       C            F
No passo n'ce ! x2
      F
Se vede Francia, Proceta e la Spagna….
     C            F
Io veco a tte ! x2
    Am  E7        Am      E7       Am   
Tirato con la fune, ditto 'nfatto,
     E7         Am 
'ncielo se va x2 …
      C               G       C              G         C
Se va comm' 'à lu viento a l’intrasatto,
           G         C 
Guè, saglie sà x2

Chorus
  
                    F
Se n’è sagliuta, oi Nè, se n’è sagliuta,
      C          F
La capa già,  x2
     F
È gghiuta, pò è turnata, pò è venuta,
       C              F
Sta sempe ccà ! x2
      Am    E7     Am         E7              Am
La capa vota, vota, attuorno, attuorno,
      E7            Am  
Attuorno a tte !  x2
       C       G        C           G        C
Sto core canta sempe nu taluorno
          G              C
Sposammo oi Nè !  x2


Chorus



Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Gene Cuisine: Stem Cells, Don't Let Your Daughter-Cells Grow Up As Meatloaf

POST #8
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys", 1975,  (covered by) Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, August 2013. 


KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, environment, medical





STEM-CELLS, DON’T LET YOUR DAUGHTER-CELLS GROW UP AS MEATLOAF
(to the tune of "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys") 








 








Intro:
Cowboys have shortened lifespans, and unhealthy lifestyles -
They won’t heed diet or pills, yet give you their smiles.
Smoking in pool-rooms and tinned sloppy-Joes and a breakfast of chicken-fried steak
They won’t understand cloning, why the dogies have gone - 
 Steers and cowboys may both fade away.

Cow-cells in vitro don’t moo, but they ain’t hard to clone.
Myocytes [1] can be lined up, much like neurons or bone.  
Conveyor-belt ‘Dolly’s, on packing-house trolleys might frighten consumers like you.  
PETA surely will grouse if calves have to die young
To make BSE-free [2] beef Ragú.

Stem-cells, don’t let your daughter-cells grow up as meatloaf;
Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,
Make them be sirloins or prime ribs ‘au jus’.
Stem-cells, don’t let your bovine genes morph into burgers;
They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by
Lovers of côtelettes-de-veau.

Foodies like trendy new bistros and fresh local produce
But this Steak Tartare from the lab shouldn’t get 'em uptight.
Abattoir workers feel threatened,
But coliform runoff and tainted meat lessened,
'Gene cuisine' - it’s all protein; for the future a blessing
To feed 8 billion souls every night.

Stem-cells, don’t let your offspring get smothered in goulash;
Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,
They’d feel more ‘mignon’ as prime ribs ‘au jus’.
Stem-cells, don’t let your progeny flower into burgers;
They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by
Lovers of châteaubriand.


[1] myocyte = (isolated) muscle cell
[2] BSE = bovine spongiform encephalopathy, “mad-cow” disease




Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook:
Corktunes: Stem Cells.....



[C] Cow-cells in vitro don’t moo, but they ain’t hard to [F] clone.
[G] Myocytes  can be lined up, much like neurons or [C] bone.  
Conveyor-belt ‘Dolly’s, on packing-house trolleys might [F] frighten consumers like you.  
PETA [G] surely will grouse if calves have to die young
To make BSE-free beef Ra[C]gú.

[C] Stem-cells, don’t let your daughter-cells grow up as [F] meatloaf;
Don’t [G] let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,
Make them be sirloins or prime ribs ‘au [C] jus’.
Stem-cells, don’t let your bovine genes morph into [F] burgers;
They’d [G] sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by

Lovers of côtelettes-de-[C]-veau.



Related Palindromes:

No stetson !

DNA-land.

Tube debut.

Ate plate - ewe et al. - PETA !

Rawer burger murders - re drum, re grub, re war.