Singable Limerick-Medley: ACID REFLUX and Other G.I. Symptoms

POST #155: Singable Limericks 

LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, and compiled in November 2017. Many of the poems have been published at the OEDILF website (the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form) by Giorgio Coniglio, 2016-2017. The OEDILF identifying number (#) and the Author's Note accompanying each poem, where relevant, are shown following the first verse.
ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
SONGLINK: Much earlier, lyrics were published by Giorgio on this site for another song about GI reflux entitled "Reflux Romp". 

CONTENTS:

1. Gastrointestinal Pact

2. Borborygmi

3. (Failure of the) Gastroesophageal Junction

4. Laryngeal Inflammation

5. Galactosidase (Beano)

6. GERD (Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease) 

ACID RELUX and other G.I. SYMPTOMS

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(To the tune of "The Limerick Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 

1. I have just signed a well-crafted pact
With my gastrointestinal tract.
Peaceful truce will constrain us, from my throat to my anus.

All disruptions will cease, that’s a fact.

No more outbursts, like hiccups, just tact!

2. Borborygmus, herewith we apprize:
A gas bubble sound breeding denies.
You can’t manage to squelch when it’s fated to belch

Or worse yet, to escape twixt your thighs.

3. "To regurgitate, you may have heard
Of a problem we doctors call GERD:
Symptom-complex that’s drastic; due to reflux that’s gastric

Your esophagus’ role is deterred.

   So at first you can try careful diet,
Avoid alcohol, keep things more quiet.
Spicy foods you must spurn -- Gullet lining will burn!

As for caffeine, please don’t even try it.

    The real problem? Defunct G.E. junction,

It’s the part that’s copped out, doesn’t  function.
Drugs for acid suppression can prevent some progression --

You won’t likely require extreme unction. 

    After years where your food causes dread --

Spouse got lost, she slid down tilted bed --
We’ll do laparascopic (please read up on this topic),

And we’ll tighten that junction instead.”

4. Cough and hoarseness? No need for despair!
You just sit in Doc’s ENT chair.
Tiny tube up your nose, fiberoptics disclose;

“Hi there, Larynx. What’s happening there?”

    After months of my voice getting ‘tired’--
Hard to work, in anxiety mired.

Viewed with scope, takes a minute.  “Throat: no cancer. What’s in it? 

Its inflamed, acid-refluxly fired.”

5. Our intestines have low days and high days —
At their worst eating chili on Fridays.
Choose a Nobel Prize winner with leguminous dinner:
Diet supplement — galactosidase.
   Though Cruciferae bloat, not just fill us,
Meals delight when we use Aspergillus
(Alpha-GAL source for Beano). We could dine with the Queen — oh,
Beats out times when the gas could just kill us.

6. Gastro: sack where tract’s acid gets made

Esophageal: mucosa gets flayed:

Reflux: acid up-spurts;  Disease: whole thorax hurts

You gasp, “Heartburn!” when this drama’s played.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Hotlink to Beano (dietary supplement) - Wikipedia

SONGLINK:

"Reflux Romp": substituted lyrics, parody of the Ink Spots' "Java Jive".