Thursday 26 November 2015

A Reggae Tune: F.O.P - SHOP WINE

POST #109
ORIGINAL SONG "Red Red Wine",  Neil Diamond 1968, covered by the reggae band UB40, 1983, with addition of a "toasted" rap section.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, Canadian  

 In my province of Ontario and a few other Canadian provinces, licences are granted to shops which allow customers to make their own beer or wine "for personal consumption". These stores are generally referred to by the public as "wineries" or "wineshops", but the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario who regulates these outlets, refers to the stores as UVin or UVin/UBrew, and to the process as FOP (ferment on premises). Some customers who have appropriate space and ambient conditions in their basements prefer to buy equipment and kits for FAH (ferment at home). I personally have been an enthusiastic user of FOP for 15 years, (although I must admit that I have seldom referred to it by this term). 


(to the tune of "Red Red Wine" - reggae version by UB40)

FOP-store wine 
wine kits for sale
in an Ontario store
My kind of sh-o-o-op 
They take my credit card 
Do all the wo-o-ork.

FOP-shop wine 
Add yeast to mu-u-ust 
Then when my batch is done
Remember to sho-o-ow
Must schedule to show.

I’ll get called - 
Bottling time
Box up thirty that you’ve cleaned
Labels choose
Shrink-wrap tops
After using cork-machine.
The FOP process

FOP-shop wine 
Save half the co-o-ost
Take up no basement  space
Yet fill home wine-racks
Pay no high tax.

(the "toasted" rap section as per UB40 version) 

 FOP-shop wine, you help reduce the cost
Keep me from feeling me money is lost
FOP-shop wine, you make me feel so grand
We host lots of parties 'cause I’ve always wine on hand
FOP-shop wine, when you’re gone you make me think
Empties need washing in the basement laundry sink. 
FOP-shop wine, I can get to where you are
Boxes in a taxi, when I’ve broken-down old car.

FOP-shop stores, Canucks call them UVin
Personal consumption is seen as no sin. 
Some province license UVin and UBrew
(Brew-shops in the USA who'll do your wine are few.)
FOP-shop wine, might be in your neighbourhood
Quality can vary, but most kits are quite good.
 Twenty years - a few bad bottles, five or six
Never short of holiday or birthday gifts.

  F-O-P means "ferment on premises"
Lots of varieties to please your picky missus
FOP-shop kits always come from foreign lands
Must be some reason local growers not at hand 
FOP-shop kits which we'll really like I know
Aussie shiraz, French or Chilean merlot
Need no special gear, technique's not too hard
Fermentation start by stirring with your credit card.

Reprise: final verse
staff workspace
in a UVin/UBrew shop


FOP-Shop Wine (see below)
Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)
Limericks About Chemainus, B.C.

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

This is a great place to practise the reggae technique of banging the ukulele (with your thumb) on the on-beats, and strumming (backwards direction) on the important off-beats.


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