Thursday 21 October 2021

Uke-Song: "STAR-NOSED MOLE"


PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Heart and Soul", Frank Loesser and Hoagy Carmichael, 1938.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February 2015.

KEYWORDS: math-science, classicsong 

Explanatory notes: The star-nosed mole inhabits wet low-lying areas of Canada and the northeastern US. It has been much less well known than its lawn-disturbing cousin, the common Eastern mole. National Geographic recently suggested that it may be the weirdest creature on the planet.


STAR-NOSED MOLE

(to the tune of "Heart and Soul")

Star-nosed mole – I fail to grasp your charms -
Fleshy snout, thick tail and flipper arms
Slit eyes,
No need to use a mirror:
You won’t be ogled by peers.
  
Star-nosed mole – a neuroscience find -
Tactile nose, hunts prey though eyes are blind
Feelers (tentacles)
Discern where kisses land,
Just like an eye or a hand.

Star-nosed mole – bolts half its weight each day
Stim-response? – Earth’s quickest, Wiki say,
Nostrils
In midst of quivering nose,
Stay underwater closed.

Strangely evolved for digging, feeding, swimming. 
How do you get to breeding, her-and-himm-ing?

So, you can ‘see'
By integrating touch,
Brain can ‘watch’- snarf yummy worms and such.
Somehow
You find cloacal holes
Of other star-nosed moles. 

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