Uke-Song, An Airline Saga: MACADAMIAS

POST #61
PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Desperado", The Eagles, 1973.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, December 2014.

EXPLANATORY NOTE: 

On December 5, 2014 at JFK Airport,  Korean Air Flight 86 to Seoul returned to the gate before take-off. An executive vice president, also the daughter of Korean Air chairman Cho Yang-ho, had demanded the removal of a crew member from a flight for failing to serve macadamia nuts in a ramikin, rather than in a bag.
This episode provoked outrage concerning the ongoing role of the chaebol or family conglomerate in South Korean society. The CEO later appeared on television to apologize, announcing the dismissal of his daughter from further roles within the company.

MACADAMIAS

         D       D7                      G                    Gm 

Macadamias, when they get served before take-off,

          D                         Bm                        E7              A7

It’s a breach you can’t  shake off -  in the bag’s a disgrace.

                D          D7

Flight procedure - 

                    G                            Gm 

I know that you’ve checked the entry,

      D           Bm

So do it correctly or

      Em            D 

I’ll surely lose face.

             Bm                     F#m

Don’t offend the Inflight Service Veep

       G                  D  

(Perhaps a tad unstable),
       Bm       G                 D       A

The CEO of airline is my Dad.
                 Bm                      F#m

Now your manual lists how first-class snacks
                 G                       D

Should be laid out on tray-tables -
               Bm                E7                     Em7  A7

But your short-cut variations make me mad.

                D             D7      G                       Gm 
Desp’rate outburst? No, it ain’t ‘cause I’m thirsty,

       D                       Bm
I’m pained that this purser

             E7            A7 
Won’t obey protocol.

        D        D7                 G                Gm  
And cockpit,  the cockpit follows my orders,

              D            Bm
We’re delaying departure

                 Em           D 
Have them radio Control.

             Bm                  F#m
Though Daddy might apologize

         G                          D 
If he feels this action’s not too wise,

           Bm                 G                         D    A
We all must keep respect for Cho chaebol   

          Bm                 F#m 
You’ll lose access to KA flights,

            G                           D                    Em7    A7
It ain’t funny, you’ll need days to get to Seoul.

         D       D7                      G                     Gm  
Macadamias, when they get snarfed on the runway,

            D            Bm                 E7                 A7        
There’s only the one way, the bag just ain’t right. 

                D            D7               G                    Gm  
It may be ‘nutrage’, but as the Airline’s chief nutcase, 

            D                      Bm 
And as Korean Airlines heiress,

        G                   Bm
The airline-chief’s heiress,

            D                      Bm
And as Korean Airlines heiress,

       Em         A7   D  
I’m aborting this flight.

ORIGINAL SONG-LYRICS

Uke-Song, Carolina - A Redawning (parody medley)

POST #60
PASTICHE with PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG#1: Buona Sera, Louis Prima
ORIGINAL SONG#2: Carolina in the Morning, Al Jolson
ORIGINAL SONG#3: Mona Lisa, Nat King Cole
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, December 2014.



Notes: 

1) This trio of substituted parody lyrics can be thought of as a parody-medley or parodley 

2) The pacing for the first song works much better when "Capri" is pronounced Italian style with the accent on the first syllable. 

BUONA SERA  

(to the tune of "CAROLINA IN THE MORNING")

What could make me keener than to kiss you, signorina, ‘Buona sera’ ?

Say goodbyes to Napoli and magic Isle of Capri, ‘Buona sera’

Where the mist-clad mountains wrap around the shore,

Sheltering village fountains we snap as we explore.

Strolling with my ‘bella’, I’m a hell’va lucky fella, signorina

But jewellery shops are tourist traps, and credit card got stuck in bank 
machin’a

If I had a stash of cash – a lot more euros,

We’d linger over dinner, and here’s what I’d propose:

Let's spring'a for that wedding ring'a, after doing traveling, signori-i-na. 

MONA LISA

 (to the tune of "BUONA SERA")

   

Are you snickering? Mona Lisa, men are asking -

La Gioconda – playful name for family;

But it’s hard for us to question L. da Vinci,

When that old guy died so long ago in Italy.

Are you smiling, Mona Lisa, to tempt lovers?

Or are you puffed with child and have your little laugh?

But from art critics we get speculating theory;

Leonardo’s face and yours – please, I get weary!

In the meantime, we’ll just view you in the Louvre,

Hang on in there, Mona Lisa, keep up the smile.

Hang on in there, Mona Lisa, keep up the smile!

CAROLINA IN THE MORNING 

(to the tune of "MONA LISA")

Carolina - it's much finer, in the morning,

Like my sweetie when I greet her before noon;

Where the vines so fine entwine around her doorstep,

I'd prefer to slide inside into her room.

I feel butterflies all flutter up, can’t ask her,

 Shall we stay and kiss your buttercup at dawn?

If I just had the lamp of Aladdin,

I would stay there, and just play there.
Are you wanting to stroll, whirly girlie,

Out where there’s pearly early dew upon the lawn?

Are you wanting to stroll, whirly girlie,

Out where there’s pearly early dew upon the lawn?

Squirrelly girlie, squirrelly gir-lie.

Performing Notes

GM7 = 0222; G6 = 0202; G#dim7; E5+7 = 1203; Am7 = 0000; Am6 = 2423;
C#dim7 = 0101/3434; D7+5 = 3223; Dm7 = 2213 


BUONA SERA  

[G] What could make me [GM7] keener than to [G6] kiss you, signo[G#dim7] rina, ‘Buona [Am7] se[D7]ra’ ?

[Am] Say goodbyes to [E7+5] Napoli and [Am7] magic Isle of [Am6] Capri, ‘Buona [C#dim7] se[G]ra’

[C] Where the mist-clad [G] mountains [C] wrap around the [G] shore, [E7]

[A7] Sheltering village [D] fountains [B7] we [Em] snap as [Am7] we ex[D7]plore. [D7+5]

[G] Strolling with my [Gm7] ‘bella’, I’m a [G6] hell’va lucky [G#dim7] 
fella, signo[Am7]ri[D7]na

But [Am] jewellery shops are [E7+5] tourist traps, and [Am7] credit card got stuck [Am6] in bank ma[C#dim7]chi[G]n'a 
[G] If I had a stash of cash – a [Dm7] lot more eu[G7]ros,

We’d [C] linger over dinner, and here’s [A7] what I’d pro[D7]pose:

Let's [G] spring'a for that [Em] wedding ring'a, [G] after doing [Em] travelling, signo[A7]ri-[D7]i-i[G]na. 

MONA LISA

 (to the tune of "BUONA SERA")

              G                         G6                  G        G6           

Are you snickering? Mona Lisa, men are asking -

          G                       G6                D    D7

La Gioconda – playful name for family;

            D                     D7                  D      D7

But it’s hard for us to question L. da Vinci,

                 D                       D7               G  G6      

When that old guy died so long ago in Italy.

             G                    G6                  G          G6

Are you smiling, Mona Lisa, to tempt lovers?

                  G                               G7                    C

Or are you puffed with child and have your little laugh?

                    Cm                                   G          G6

But from art critics we get speculating theory;

      D                        D7                         G           G6  

Leonardo’s face and yours – please, I get weary!

           G                              G7                    C         A7

In the meantime, we’ll just view you in the Louvre,

              G                      D7                       G    G6

Hang on in there, Mona Lisa, keep up the smile.

              D                     D7                       G    

Hang on in there, Mona Lisa, keep up the smile!

CAROLINA IN THE MORNING 

(to the tune of "MONA LISA")

        G                     GM7             G6         GM7
Carolina - it's much finer, in the morning,

             G                                                 D7 
Like my sweetie when I greet her before noon;

                 Am                     E7+5                   Am7       D7
Where the vines so fine entwine around her doorstep,

        Am                D7               G      G6   
I'd prefer to slide inside into her room.

         G                   GM7                   G6      GM7
I feel butterflies all flutter up, can’t ask her,

              G                          G7                 C      
Shall we stay and kiss your buttercup at dawn?

       Cm                              G
If I just had the lamp of Aladdin,

 G#dim      D7                          G           G7 
   I would stay there, and just play there.
              C               C#dim            G       G#dim

Are you wanting to stroll, whirly girlie,

                             Am7             D7                  G     G7 
Out where there’s pearly early dew upon the lawn?

              C               C#dim        G       G#dim
Are you wanting to stroll, whirly girlie,

                             Am7             D7                 G    G7 
Out where there’s pearly early dew upon the lawn?

               Cm D7  Am        D7 G

Squirrelly girlie, squirrelly gir-lie.

The Modern Hamlet Monologue, Scene ii: "THE PLAY'S A STING"

POST #48
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". 
LYRICS: modified from W. Shakespeare "Hamlet (Prince of Denmark)"; the soliloquy "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I"
Notes to the Lyrics: The lines sung by MG Stanley and by the Chorus generally exhibit the 3-syllable rhyming which has come to characterize the original and parodies of the "Major General's Song". In the present circumstance, neither the MG or I was able to convince the Prince of Denmark to use a rhyming convention adopted by British naval officers several centuries later; his lines here have only single-syllable rhyming, and are therfore similar to Tom Lehrer's accessible version used in the song "The Elements" .

Parody Composed: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013, a sequel to the song, "Modern Major General" posted here in May 2014.   

THE PLAY'S A STING

(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song") 

(Maj. Gen. Stanley)

     G

As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,

   D7 
Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry

       G
For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,

        D                                       A7                D  
And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.

     D7                                                          Gm

To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,

      F7                                                        Bb 
Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous         
D7                                                                                  Gm 

Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius 

           Eb7                                                                 D7 

Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonious.

(Hamlet)

      G 

So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !

    D7   

Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?

     G
He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,   

        D                                               A7                  D               

Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.

      D7                                                                   Gm                   
Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,

F7                                                                                           Bb 

And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;    
   D7                                                            Gm 

Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –   
  Eb7                                                                 D7 

I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.

    G 
I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues

            D7   
Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,

        G 
And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose – 

     D                                                       A7                      D 
Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !

        D7                                                                       Gm 
I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck 

     F7                                                                           Bb       
By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;

      D7                                                                                   Gm 
I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering

    Eb7                                                                                  D7 
If C. should blench or leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.

(Chorus)

       G                   D7                      G            D7                  
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

       G                           C                      G        D7      G   
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

       G                                                    

The seating for such theatre-shorts, and photo-ops we should confirm,

        D7 
With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

         G                  D7                    G                          D7               
With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;

        G                                C                      G                D7     G    
The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.

(Chorus)

       G                   D7                      G            D7                  
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

       G                           C                      G        D7      G   
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

      G                   D7                         G           D7       
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, in digital or analog,

     G                           C                      G        D7      G  

My Sing-Along Soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue. 

(Chorus)

           G                        D7                                  G                       D7       
We’ve kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **, and now it's posted on a blog,

      G                       C                                      G           D7       G  

"O! What a peasant slave and rogue.."  -  the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted on this site May 2014.

**A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.

PlayingNotes: Eb7 is easily fingered by using the barred version of D7, up the neck 1 position.