(to the tune of "Love Potion Number Nine")
I had some troubles making magic pills,
You’ll know the new ones, like sildenafil;
In ‘62 I palmed some off and then I did some time:
Cop-assault seemed part of ... Love Potion Number Nine.
My new blue Love-Drug could be guys’ delight,
They'd stand to attention for part of the night.
How hard could it be to direct their urge at chicks?
The patent gave the details since ... Nineteen Ninety-Six.
If they’d buy my knock-offs they would never flop,
I could scope out more ingredients and set up shop.
A good place to test it might be “where King meets Queen” -
I needed a success with ... Generic Drug Nineteen.
Got turned around and flustered when I checked out the lists;
The patent called for extracts in a strange solvent mix.
I swirled it in the bathtub with some weird catalysts;
It stank like Potion Nine but I breathed in a few whiffs.
I packed it up though it was smoking green,
And grabbed and cabbed it to the Corktown scene,
But when I kissed the cop down at River Street and Queen,
She broke my 30 vials of ... Off-Patent Drug Nineteen.
Those vials were smoking green,
That lady cop was mean,
Off-Patent Drug Nine-teen !
Psst! Psst!
If you have troubles when you’re in a hug,
There’s knock-off drug enough to fill a jug;
But please ignore the fact that the pills are shocking green,
And please avoid the corner of ... River St and Queen.
Off-Patent Drug Nineteen x2
Off-Patent Drug Nineteen!
UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)
