o) Uke-Song, "ZOMBIE COCKROACH", Halloween biology

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG : "Boney Fingers" 1974, Hoyt Axton. 

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, October, 2015.

PARODY LYRICS-LINK:  To return to the current post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE. 

BIOLOGICAL BACKGROUND: The emerald cockroach wasp, or jewel wasp, Ampulex compressa is a fascinating creature, recently investigated with respect to its unusual reproductive behavior. Incredible details of the strange, even nightmarish habits of this predatory insect are shown by this video.   

Emerald Cockroach Wasp

ZOMBIE COCKROACH 

(to the tune of "Boney Fingers")

I’m an emerald-wasp Mom, and I’m doin’ my duty

Looking for daycare, and I’ve found me a doozy

Larvae can snarf, then get their beauty-sleep as pupae

They need a peaceful place where they’ll get protein while they’re growing,

Need a quiet place where they’ll get protein. 

Know where to hunt to find “la cucaracha”
Filled my stinger with a toxin called GABA *
Direct first sting to prothoracic ganglia

Likely that his limbs are weakened for two minutes.
Likely that ‘ll make his big arms weaker.

Inject toxins in his chest - whadda ya get?
(Weak limbs!) Woossie cockroach – woossie cockroach.

Oh! the second sting goes to the base of his brain:
Hit the right target and he's feeling no pain;

Lead him like a leash-dog, then one egg I’ll be layin’
Stuff them in a tunnel, the egg hatches in the mornin'
That is when my larva starts to eat him.

Hungry larva needs to grow - what does it eat?
(Whoo whoo!) Cockroach protein – cockroach protein.

For baby wasps, it’s a huge refrigerator
Inside and out, treats that Mother Nature catered
Five days of eating, then protected place for sleeping

In two weeks adult emerges ripe for breeding
Dressed to kill and carry on life-cycle.

Pretty pupa needs to sleep - where does it rest?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach – zombie cockroach.

Wasps' lives are scripted, and they don’t need coaches.

Each gal makes toast of several dozen roaches

Mating takes a minute, they won’t need no urgin’

Every mom will be a horror-movie neurosurgeon

Every gal will be a neurosurgeon.

Inject toxins in his brain - whadda ya get?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach – zombie cockroach.

Now, there's.......
Other bio-systems with bizarre behavior
Parasite controls and make the host enslav-ier
There are crazy notions, and this one's no crazier  -   
Maybe further research will have human implications
Maybe we'll make mental illness better.

Best test-model that we've got? What would ya guess?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach! Zombie cockroach!

* GABA (pronounced by biologists as " gabba' ") = gamma-aminobutyric acid, a neuro-transmitter substance.

 Performing Notes


Intro:  |: A  |   | D  |    |E7  |    |    | A  | E7| A  |   :|  x2 

|:A  |   |   |   :| x2

I’m an [A] emerald-wasp Mom, and I’m doin’ my duty

[D] Looking for Daycare, and I’ve found me a doozy

[E7] Larvae can snarf, then get their beauty-sleep as pupae

They [E7] need a quiet place where they’ll get [A] protein as they’re growing,

They [E7] need a quiet place where they’ll get [A] protein. 

Inject [E7] toxins in his brain - whadda ya [D]! get?  >
(Whoo whoo) [E7] Zombie [A] cockroach – [E7] zombie [A] cockroach.

Uke-Song: "STAR-NOSED MOLE"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Heart and Soul", Frank Loesser and Hoagy Carmichael, 1938.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February 2015. 

To return to the corresponding post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE. 

EXPLANATORY NOTES: The star-nosed mole inhabits wet low-lying areas of Canada and the northeastern US. It has been much less well known than its lawn-disturbing cousin, the common Eastern mole. National Geographic recently suggested that it may be the weirdest creature on the planet.

STAR-NOSED MOLE

(to the tune of "Heart and Soul")

Star-nosed mole – I fail to grasp your charms -

Fleshy snout, thick tail and flipper arms

Slit eyes,

No need to use a mirror:

You won’t be ogled by peers.

  

Star-nosed mole – a neuroscience find -

Tactile nose, hunts prey though eyes are blind

Feelers (tentacles)

Discern where kisses land,

Just like an eye or a hand.

Star-nosed mole – bolts half its weight each day

Stim-response? – Earth’s quickest, Wiki say,

Nostrils

In midst of quivering nose,

Stay underwater closed.

Strangely evolved for digging, feeding, swimming. 

How do you get to breeding, her-and-himm-ing?

So, you can ‘see'

By integrating touch,

Brain can ‘watch’- snarf yummy worms and such.

Somehow

You find cloacal holes

Of other star-nosed moles.