Singable Limerick-Medley (Quebec ballad): STRUGGLING with FRENCH

POST #162:
Singable Limerick-Medley 

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses could be sung to the standard "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here. However, for this post, we have used a different tune, the melody for the verses of the 1970s French-Canadian hit. "La Complainte du Phoque en Alaska" by the band Beau Dommage. The Quebec cowboy type melody is mixed with elements of circus music, and in fact a calliope is a major element in orchestration of the original piece.
Deep thanks to Steve McNie of Toronto Ukes, whose chord chart provided the basis for current version; any errors are likely due to the key transposition by G.C.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio 2016-2017, and compiled in December 2017. Several of the verses also appear in the online limerick dictionary OEDILF.com.
WORDPLAY LINK: Further limerick verses dealing with French words and concepts can be found on our companion wordplay blog "EDIFYING NONSENSE" in the post about "SAVOIR-FAIRE"



CONTENTS:
1. Gallicism(e)
2. French Loanwords
3. Québécois (Joual)
4. French Wench
5. French Enologists

STRUGGLING WITH FRENCH 

A LIMERICK-MEDLEY

(to the tune of verses of "La Complainte du Phoque en Alaska")



1. Gallicisme? Its origin: - - (it’s) French
A coquette: a flirtatious French wench.

R S V (won't you), Please; a massage: rub and squeeze,
Rendezvous, tête-à-tête, or a clench.

2. À propos of French loanwords, - - I'd say

Spoofing poets spout words like outré.

So, sans cesse I have cursed that so few are well-versed,

Quant à moi, a unique nonpareil.

3. The ACcent / ahk-SOHN  --- Québécois
Doesn't equal French studied by moi.

Speaking joual, what they say sounds much more like 'mo-AY';

If I speak, I'll blurt, "Mw-é, j'parle pas.”  

4. I must say there's no word worse for rhyming  with ‘French’

Than that somewhat archaic term 'wench'.

You're put off by a klaxon (the horn honks, "Anglo-Saxon"),

Then you'll notice your appetence quench.

5. French enologists  --- don't talk a bunch,
But they'll use the word grappe — that's my hunch.
For them, grapes are raisins; they choose crus to make vins.
Check what vintage they order with lunch.

(For explanation of the French words, and some more intriguing poems, refer to the blogpost "SAVOIR-FAIRE")

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

WORDPLAY LINK: 

For wordplay (palindromes, anagrams, eggcorns, creative cartography, etc.) and silly poetry (limericks, including some more French-tinged offerings), see our sister blog "EDIFYING NONSENSE" here. 

ORIGINAL SONG-LYRICS

Singable Limerick-Medley (Romanian waltz): AGING IN PLACE, SOMEWHERE

POST #161: Singable Limericks 

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses could be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as with other limerick-medleys that we have posted. However, for this medley, the verses have been set to a Romanian waltz theme. This tune seems appropriate for the sombre sentiment of some of the verses, and more importantly, we only learned how to do it recently. The tune is similar to "The Anniversary Song"; a Youtube recording by Al Jolson is found here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, and compiled in December 2017. Many of the poems have been published at the OEDILF website (the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form) by Giorgio Coniglio, 2016-2017. The OEDILF identifying number (#) and the Author's Note accompanying each poem, where relevant, are shown following the first verse. 


CONTENTS:
1. The Man from Nantucket - Romanian waltz version 
2. Old Farts
3. Cape Cod Codger
4. Octogenarian
5. Mien Geriatric
6. Centenarian
7. Georgian Historian
8. Heart Block
9. Old Farts (reprise)

SEASONAL MESSAGE: 
Happy holidays to everyone out there in blogland.

You can enjoy some of Giorgio's parody songs for the holidays 

- "A Cynic's Song" 

 - "Turkey Leftovers"

 - "Avitaminoses" ( A Late-Days of Christmas Song) 

AGING IN PLACE, SOMEWHERE

 (To the tune of "The Anniversary Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 

1.(Classic, clean limerick)

 There was an old man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket; 

But his daughter named Nan ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nan took it.

2. “To the social milieu we bring flatus,

For which fault peevish offspring berate us.

We should state from the start, hate that insult, ‘Old Fart’;

We’ll depart. Won’t return.”  signed, The Late Us.

3. An old codger who lived on Cape Cod

Tended assets in fashion quite odd.

He would spend as he'd wish (often smelling of fish)

From his cache in his bucket of scrod.

4. An octogenarian bird
Thought that giving up sex was absurd.

So she programmed an app that she kept on her lap-

Top: "Remind me next March twenty-third." 

5. An old duffer, with mien geriatric
Laced his skates  in a gesture theatric. 

Dropped his cane, took the ice, loosened up in a trice,

And went on to complete a mean hat trick.

6. Centenarian Rose had a stroke
Playing bridge in the lounge with some folk. 

And the last thing she did was to call out her bid; 

Next card night she’ll be back; that’s no joke.

7. That ol' Georgian historian, Gene Goss
Told tall tales of rubes conned in Waycross; 

He could bring home the bacon with his legends of Macon.

He's just passed, we're deploring his loss.

8. "Mrs. Hart, things have gone quite amiss;
You've a block in your bundle of His.

My advice must be heeded — The right pacemaker's needed;

Then you'll live to one hundred in bliss."

9.“To the social milieu we brought flatus,

For which fault peevish heirs did berate us.

We had thought from the start that our title, ‘Old Fart’

We’d update.”,  Dear Departed (sic) / Late Us.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

At this point you might wish to return to the post 'Singable Lyrics: Novel Melodies for Limericks' HERE. 

    

Singable Limerick-Medley: ANIMAL BEHAVIOUR

POST #160: Singable Limericks 

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, and compiled in December 2017. Many of the poems have been published at the OEDILF website (the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form) by Giorgio Coniglio, 2016-2017. The OEDILF identifying number (#) and the Author's Note accompanying each poem, where relevant, are shown following each poem. 
CONTENTS:
1. Molevolence
2. The Male Rhino
3. Rabbit-Habits (Male)
4. She-Goats
5. The Centipede Returns
6. Anthropocentric
7. Moe, the Clothes Moth
8. The Woodchuck


FURTHER READING (singing):

 Readers keen on Biology might also like to review the blogpost "The Avian Life". 
Readers who are fans of Ogden Nash, might recognize his influence with respect to our poems here concerning rabbits' habits and the intrusion of the centipede into domestic life. These folk might enjoy enjoy seeing some of their hero's poems set to music in post #28, and post #29 .

ANIMAL BEHAVIOUR

(A LIMERICK MEDLEY)

(To the tune of "The Limerick Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 


1. Eastern moles shun our sun-drenched solarium;
They have fun as they trench their ‘terrarium’.

Our lawn’s riddled with knolls where moles tunnel their holes.

With malevolence, I’d like to bury 'em.

(Or abolish their habits or vary 'em)

2. Ron the rhino, depressed and forlorny,
Mourned, "That mate of mine seldom feels horny."
Does this tale about 'tail' prompt a human males's wail?
Men might find this verse corny or porny.
(But for guys, Ron's dilemma is thorny)

The mating habits of the white rhinoceros are discussed at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_rhinoceros

3. I detest the offensive male rabbit;
He's a beast of concupiscent habit.

He'll egregiously breed, though there's clearly no need:

Should occasion present — he‘d just grab it.

Any chance for romance? Watch him nab it.

4. That fine Chavignol cheese that you've bought?
Gourmets say, "It's the best chevre we've got."

All the she-goats have heard that their crottin's preferred,

Though the French word for 'turd' is  la crotte.  

5. His performance derided by Nash, 
Yet he streaks 'cross your den in a flash.
Even Ogden agreed -- his speed's hard to impede.
It's the centipede's 100-foot dash.


6. Each mammalian species and genus
Has a male form – the one with the p***s.
Female humans, we find, that self-centered, he’s blind
To all subtlety. That comes between us.

7. Moe grumps, "Butterfly? Flutterby-schmutterby. 
Mindless moults and clothes-noshing just stutter by.
My mouth's stuffed — that's a patter-killer; I'm no kvetch," moans this
   caterpillar.
As a moth, eats no cloth, he'll just mutter by.
  Manny's moth-mob infests your dried pasta
(Though they'll ravage your sweater-vests faster).
If some larvae are seen in your box of rotini:
Meatsauce ready? Just eat; no disaster.

8. Fierce debate: how much wood throws a woodchuck
(When well-trained, so he knows what he COULD chuck)?
"I could pitch half a cord if I didn't get bored.
That's my personal best: it's a GOOD chuck."

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

    

HOTLINK to Wikipedia: "Clothing Moth (Tineola bissilliella)"

Singable Limerick-Medley: THE AVIAN LIFE

POST #159: Singable Limericks 

Brown pelican

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, and compiled in November 2017. The author thanks psheil, a contributing editor at OEDILF for the idea for poem#2, and Chris J. Strolin. editor-in-chief for the useful neologism 'delican' used in poem#7.

PHOTOS: By Giorgio, except where noted. Photos were tranferred from Giorgio's cellphone and formatted using ancient powerpoint software.

CONTENTS:

1. Earl the Eagle

2. Gizzards and Other G.I. Parts

3. The Pelican Revisited

4. Avian Tippling: Cedar Waxwings

5. The 'Pelicatessen'

6. 'Henry', the Great Egret

FURTHER READING (singing): Readers who enjoy this post might also appreciate our next blogpost "Animal Behaviour" .

If poem #2 in the present collection appeals to you, you might also like to review the blogpost "Acid Reflux and Other GI Symptoms" .

THE AVIAN LIFE

A LIMERICK MEDLEY 

(to the tune of "The Limerick Song" . Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 

1. Earl the eaglet ate right in his aerie —

D D T - laden fish made him wary.

The scenario jumps to our day and our dumps.

Now our Earl is a carnivore scary.

    Earl's an emblem resurgent, so regal,
But you'll find you've not much recourse legal,

When, for tastier diet, he dives in the quiet

To seize your toy poodle or beagle.

2. Every creature that's bird-brained has learned:
Swallowed breakfast will need to be churned

Proventriculus: flaccid, gushes out gastric acid,

Then this sludge to its pathway's returned.
    The trick: after acid's secreted

Gizzard grinds, then the cycle's repeated.

Dribs and drabs, meals are mashed, acid-laced, then rehashed. 

You ask, "Don't birds have teeth?" They're deleted.
   That strong acid is great killing germs,
And digesting (yuk!) minnows and worms.

For tough jobs — seeds or bones, many gizzards have stones,

As a random post-mortem confirms.
    Wait a bit! This migration let's stop;

Reconsider the view from the top.

Birds can’t run to the store when their gizzard yells, “More!”,

They send grist to the mill from their crop.

3. Only profligate pelicans seek
To fill freezer-chests up for a week.

Birds must skim, then they swoop, then they ‘shop’ with their scoop -
It’s that throat pouch that’s under their beak.

    Apparatus that’s lauded by Merritt

(No such ode to the toucan or parrot): 

The birds’ portable larder? No, their life’s a bit harder: 

They eat fresh. Days old fish? – couldn’t bear it. 

4. Cedar waxwings indulge at our holly trees

Where the berries ferment; they're such 'jolly' trees.

Then flock-members fly straight at our windows, glass plate.

R.I.P. They're interred 'neath 'bird folly' trees.

5. Their great passion for sushi expressin',
Shoppers' flock to this dock for their fressin'.
Fishers carve up their catch; shorebirds watch, then they snatch
At their favorite pelicatessen.

6. This great Egret's no suitable pet,
'Henry' might be a source of regret.
He stands motionless 'til he spears prey with his bill.
They've no fear, then they find they got et.
(Henry poses for pictures? You  bet.)

EDITOR'S NOTE (May 2019). 
This collection of verses has now been updated with more doggerel verses about a rogues' gallery of waterfowl including  the snowy egret, the anhinga and the wood stork. So, , you can indulge in more of Giorgio's poetry and photos by linking to a new post on "EDIFYING NONSENSE" entitled "Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl".    

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)